After gathering all my damn strength—knowing that one way or another, we wouldn’t last—I looked him right in the eye. Might as well stop this little game now before things got serious between us.
“I don’t want anything more,” I lied, my eyes becoming glossy. “All I ever wanted from you was sex.”
He stared at me with so much hurt, waiting for me to take it back, waiting for me to break down into tears, but I refused to. I would suffer more now, so I wouldn’t suffer later.
His gaze dropped to the ground, and he shook his head, jaw clenched. “Fine.” He grabbed his suit jacket and slung it over his shoulder. “Then, I should go.”
And then he walked to the elevator, not sparing me another glance.
CHAPTER21
MIA
When the elevator doors had closed last night, I’d felt nothing but pain and regret. I’d wanted to run down the stairs, meet him on the ground floor, tell him that I didn’t mean any of it, that I was just hurting really badly … but I couldn’t get myself to move from my spot.
I glanced into the hospital bathroom mirror, promised myself that I wouldn’t cry again, and applied some mascara. The light in this room wasn’t the best for putting on makeup, but I didn’t have a way to get home to get ready there.
The bathroom door opened, and I listened to someone sigh.
“Mia, are you seriously getting ready in the damn hospital?” Serena asked. She walked over to me and grabbed the mascara, tilted my head toward her, and started applying it for me. “Let me help.”
After taking a deep breath, I let myself relax. At least I hadn’t pushed Serena or Melissa away yet. They were the only people who could support me through this now.
“So,” she said, smiling, “how are you andMichael?”
I frowned, tears welling up in my eyes.Don’t cry, Mia. You’re the one who pushed him away.“I’d rather not talk about him,” I said.
She furrowed her brows. “But you were—”
“What’s taking you girls so long?” Melissa asked, popping her head into the bathroom. “The guys are waiting for us at the party already. It started ten minutes ago.” She walked into the bathroom, saw Serena doing my makeup, and pulled a stick of red lipstick out of her purse. “Here, try this.” She grabbed my chin and applied a coat on my lips. “Perfect!”
I snuck Serena a glance, wanting to continue the conversation with someone because it was driving me insane. I wanted her to tell me that I had made the right choice, that telling Michael all I wanted from him was sex was what I was supposed to do, because I couldn’t tell Melissa. I couldn’t mention it to her. I couldn’t even tell her that I was seeing someone on the side.
She’d pry.
She’d ask everyone who it was.
She’d find out that it was her own father.
During the whole drive to the party, I sat in the backseat with my knees bouncing wildly. I shouldn’t have left Mom. I should’ve stayed at the hospital, had a lonely night to myself, and thought about how I ruined every single relationship I ever had. How I was a fucking monster who couldn’t stop hurting people or hurting myself.
When we pulled up tothe biggest party of the summer, I sighed quietly through my nose. I’d only stay for a couple hours, and then I’d have Melissa bring me to see Mom. And if Melissa was too preoccupied with Victor, then I’d ask Mason.
There were over twenty cars parked on the street, and people were walking toward the house in droves. Lights were flashing from inside, a heap of smoke was drifting out from the front door, and music was blaring through the damn windows.
Melissa took my hand and pulled me into the house with her. Serena disappeared into the crowd as soon as she saw her boyfriend. I stood by Melissa’s side for what seemed like hours before Serena told me she was leaving early because her boyfriend’s sister was in labor.
It wasn’t even ten yet, and I wanted to ask Serena to take me back to the hospital, but she was in too much of a rush to hear a word I said—I didn’t blame her, though. She didn’t need all my drama right now.
I slumped down on a chair, watching people strip almost naked by the pool and start freaking skinny-dipping as a group of frat boys cheered them on. Melissa stumbled up to me with a beer in her hand.
I gazed up at her through my lashes. “I want to go home.”
Melissa grabbed my hand and pulled me off the chair and back into the house. “Oh, come on, Mia!” she said, slurring her words.
I could smell the stench of alcohol on her breath, coming off in damn waves.
I scrunched my nose. “Melissa, please …” I said, but then shut my mouth.
