“Roman.”
He pulled away but kept me at arm’s length. “Roman’s your mate?” he asked. I nodded and wiped my tears with the back of my hand, hiccupping. “Why doesn’t he want you?”
My lips trembled. This would hurt him too. Why had I been so stupid? Why didn’t I just tell everyone sooner? What was wrong with me? “Because… because I have to leave him.” I clutched my stomach, trying to stop the hiccups. “I have to leave you too. I have to leave everyone.”
Derek’s mother rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. It reminded me of the way Luna Raya calmed me down after me and Roman were play-fighting when I was five and he accidentally took me down a bit too hard. It was right before he shifted for the first time. All of his energy and power and testosterone built up into one hard takedown.
I savored that moment. I would savor all those moments now that Roman and I were broken. We hadn’t been that close for a long time, since his father began pushing him to taking on responsibilities as an alpha, since he started hanging around that one girl from a nearby pack when he turned thirteen, since he hurt me.
Derek furrowed his thick brows. “What do you mean?”
“I got accepted as a Lycan,” I said, flinching away and waiting for him to scold me too.
“A Lycan?” he said softly, the words lingering on his lips. After gazing between his mom and me, he grinned, lifted me into the air, and spun me around. “That’s amazing!”
My loose curls whipped around us, and I twisted my fingers into his hair. Holding onto him for a moment longer. When he placed me down, I shook my head, wiping away more tears. “No, it’s not. I leave tomorrow.”
He became quiet, realization hitting him. “For a whole year?”
My lips trembled. “I’m sorry for not telling you.”
He paused for a long moment, brushing a hand over his twists, and turned his back to me, his muscles tensed. “What if… what if you come back to visit sometimes? We can meet at the Night Raider’s Café?” He turned back to me with a hopeful smile on his face.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Ryker told me that the rogues are only getting stronger. They go out almost every night for a hunt. Between hunting and training, I’m not sure that I’ll have time.”
His frown deepened, and he pulled me into a hug. “It’s okay, Izzy. I still love you.”
We stayed quiet for a few moments, then I furrowed my brows together. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. “When I told Roman, he refused to mark me.”
Derek’s mom rubbed my back. “He will come around.”
But I didn’t think Roman ever would. We were both hurt, and it would only get worse. When I went through heat, I might—unintentionally—try to get with another wolf to stop the pain. It would hurt him more; it would hurtusmore.
I gazed down at the ground and pulled him into the last hug that I probably would ever give him for the next year. I didn’t know when I’d have time to come back—or if I would.
After brushing a strand of hair from his face, I said, “Do me a favor and just watch after him.”
“You don’t trust him?”
My lips trembled. “I do… but I don’t trust Vanessa and he isn’t in a good place right now. Just let me know if he asks about me or acts weird or anything. Please.”
It was my only hope of hearing about him.
When I got home that night, I peeked into my parent’s room. I was so selfish for waiting this long, but I didn’t want anyone to hate me. I wanted them to be happy until I told them I was leaving.
After nudging Mom awake and after she saw the tears streaming down my cheeks, she sat up and pulled me into her arms. “Izzy, what’s wrong?”
“Please don’t hate me,” I said.
Her brows furrowed. “We’d never hate you. Where is this coming from?”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner,” I said, staring at Dad who was blinking his eyes open. I collapsed onto the bed and told them I would have to leave tomorrow morning because I was a Lycan.
And neither of them took it as badly as Roman did.
~~~
I woke up early the next morning with the sweet scent of French toast drifting through the bedroom and a dreadful ache in my heart. After tossing and turning and searching for another minute of sleep so I wouldn’t be in so much pain, I walked into my room from my parents’ and brushed a tear from my cheek.
