A party? I just planned on spending some time with Derek and my parents. I had never had a big birthday party before. I didn’t even know who’d I invite.
They started talking excitedly to each other. And I smiled sadly at them. Joining another pack for my birthday would be harder than I thought, and not just because of Roman. I would have to make new friends and try to stay in touch with the friends I had now.
My frown deepened when I gazed at Derek. I hoped that I could find some time to hang out with him.
Derek beamed at her, then at me. “I’m throwing her a party, at my place.”
“Are you inviting, Roman?” Rachel nudged me. “Maybe he’ll finally make his move.” She turned to Derek, bouncing up and down in her seat. “Wait, do you think her mate is in this pack?”
“Maybe her mate is that Lycan that she was talking to.”
“Mr. Beck would say differently.”
I shook my head. “Mr. Beck doesn’t know anything about my mate,” I said. He was always thinking the craziest things.
~~~
Later that night, I laid in my bed. Trying to convince myself that this was the right choice. Trying to convince myself that leaving Mom, Dad, Derek, Rachel, Dr. Jakkobs, and… Roman was the right choice. Leave them to achieve my dreams and goals.
Could I do it? Could I leave for at least an entire year? Surely, I wouldn’t see anyone that often once I left. Ryker had told me that Lycans were busy all the time. With training at night, sleeping during the day, and hunting the rogues in our spare time, I didn’t know if or when I’d find a moment to visit them. My heart sunk in my chest.
I opened my curtains and sat on the windowsill next to my Moonflowers, gazing out into the night. Roman sat, in his wolf form, in the forest and was watching me. I leaned against the window, my fingers grazing against the keychain from Luna Raya.
She thought I could be more, and I would be more.I had to let Roman go, no matter how hard it would be, to become everything that I was meant to be.
Chapter 29
Isabella
“Tomorrow’s your big day!” Mom said, hopping onto my bed with a big grin on her face and pulling me into a hug. Her mate’s necklace felt warm against my skin, and I hoped that this was the right choice. “Fingers crossed that Derek’s your mate!”
I smiled and gazed at the Moonflowers on the windowsill, twinkling brighter than they had ever twinkled.
“I remember when you were just a little pup,” she said. “Now look at you, about to be a woman, about to find your mate, and about to settle down.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I can’t wait when you meet him—or her. When you lay your eyes on him for the first time, when you see his smile, when you smell his scent… you’ll never forget that moment. It’ll be the best moment of your life, Izzy.”
My wolf suddenly felt terrible. I wrapped my arms around myself, took a deep breath, and hoped that I wouldn’t cry. How could I leave this? Leave this support? Leave this love? “It’s okay, Mom,” I said.
But I didn’t know if it really was.
She crawled off of my bed, placed a kiss on my forehead, and left the room. About twenty minutes later, Dad’s snores drifted through my closed door. I tiptoed out of my room and gazed into theirs. They were smiling as they slept, Mom cuddled into Dad’s chest. I couldn’t wait to be that way with my mate soon. Smiling. Happy.Loved.
A tear slipped down my cheek. Though that guilt had continued to build and build until I was nearly drowning in it, becoming a Lycan was my goal. They had always supported my goals before. If I left, I was sure they would support that decision too.
I walked out of the house and through the woods, hoping that I wouldn’t attract the attention of any guards. The forest was quieter than the other night when I left pack property. No midnight howling. No wolves running. No Roman.
The packhouse came into my view, and I walked toward it like I was drawn to it. I lingered outside his bedroom window. Every moment that I had been here, every moment that I had been with him, saw him, crushed on him in high school flashed through my mind.
But one moment lingered the longest.
It was Roman’s eighteenth birthday. Fifteen-year-old me, lingered in these woods, in this exact spot, watching him lead practice like he had done for three years. Sweat dripped down his forehead, his brown hair was tousled on his head, his muscles were swollen under the early morning sun.
In the middle of a practice match against Cayden’s dad—our beta at the time—he gazed at me and stopped. His green eyes shimmered with golden streaks, and I swore that I could hear his heart racing. He walked right away from his match and toward me, scolding me for being here when I should’ve been in school.
Though tense, when he grabbed my arm and shoved me through the woods to the school, he relaxed. He didn’t let me go, even when he had brought me to the principal’s office. He remained close to me, and I wished that we could still be that close.
This decision would tear us apart. But he had torn us apart when he told me I wasn’t good enough to be a warrior.
Before I had second thoughts, I ran off of the property and found Ryker waiting for me about a hundred yards to the west. My life was about to change for the better. My life was about to change for the better. My life was about to change for the better.
