“I don’t want to breathe,” Emani admitted. “I want to fight. I want to fight until this shit goes away. Until I feel fuckin’ sane. Did you hear what he said to me?”
Donnée pulled in a deep breath. Emani was breaking down and it was bound to happen but this was just the tip of the iceberg. Years of holding it in and most recently, holding back and fighting herself was leading to the breakdown. The breakdown that was going to shift everything back into place where it belonged. Ashton was a lot of things – the group antagonist, the troll, the source of jokes but for Emani and Donnée, he was always a brother. Typically, he popped up at the wrong times with his unsolicited advice just to piss her off and redirect her frustration. Right now, she needed his words.
“You not going to be sane until you deal with the shit in front of your face,” Ashton said standing in her face not allowing her to move. “You can’t fight every muhfucka and still have something to hold on to when it’s over.”
“You taking up for that nigga?” Emani snapped her eyes to him.
“Never. You know me, E. I’m going to play and cut a fool but I never stand for the disrespect of none of y’all. What I’m telling you is, you have to deal with what is hurting you.”
Emani kissed her teeth. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not good. If you were cool, this,” he grabbed her hand and held up the diamond ring. “Wouldn’t be here. You scared and no one can see that but your people because no one around you cares about what holds you hostage and how you try to remedy that by being everything to everyone. Too giving, too understanding, too fuckin’ compliant, E. All being here with us did was make you take off the veil and look at some shit you haven’t dealt with. You still holding on to the Jahlil shit, tell that nigga that. But this, this hard, guarded, watered down version of you to fit some bitch ass nigga’s standard ain’t it and it’s not fucking cute. You too damn smart, too damn beautiful and too fuckin’ talented to be this,” Ashton preached. “To forget who you are. You’re making yourself forget who you are and letting all the shit you survived be the narrative. Don’t lose the plot because you’re afraid.”
Emani looked away.
“Look at me, E. I love you. I’m not going to let you implode because your heart is broken. Seven years ain’t enough for you? It’s enough for me. For all of us. It was on him then, it’s on you now.”
A tear dropped from her eye. The chime of her phone making her clutch her eyes tighter trying to stop the flow of tears. Donnée grabbed the phone, unlocked it and saw the messages, none of them positive, all of them from Malik in reference to a photo Kyrie posted before the drama unleashed.
Ashton pulled her into her hug, letting her drop her load just for minute. “You don’t need to be E.Rose here. Not with us. We family. You’re going to be alright.”
Emani sniffled, pulled away, and sat on the couch. “It doesn’t feel like it. It’s been a spin cycle. And I know it’s not over. It’s just starting. There’s shit not adding up. How he treats me has changed. What I’ve been accepting is messing with me. This doesn’t feel like love.”
“Because it’s not,” Ashton stated. “He did that shit to keep that nigga out there away from you. And I don’t care how upset you are, I’m going to keep it a buck. You’re never getting rid of him. You two are meant to be. Malik is in the way and trying to break you. I ain’t having too much more of it.”
A knock sounded against the door and Jahlil’s voice, still elevated, rasped her name, “Emani.”
“No,” she replied. “I can’t do that right now.”
Donnée took her phone and slid out the door, closing it behind her.
“You know we’re not going to be able to keep holding him off? Ever since he’s stepped into your space, he’s been unraveling. You do something to that nigga. I ain’t never seen shit like that before. I can joke and troll him about everything but you.”
Emani shrugged. “That’s what happens when you fuck up.”
“E, niggas fuck up. It’s like it’s in our DNA to fuck up. It’s how we recover. Are you going to let him?”
She looked at him and he looked back. She didn’t answer.
“You forget, I know you. We all do. Both of y’all. And we know that this is inevitable. When you ready, hear him out, cuss his ass out, he deserves it. But too much time has been wasted with y’all apart.”
“I hate you,” Emani groaned.
“I love you too. Don’t shit about that change. Now you comin’ down here to eat or nah? We got all this food and all this liquor.”
Everyone is gone?”
“You know that nigga cleared that shit out and Carson was right behind him. They about to catch hell behind you the rest of the week. This shit is about to be hilarious,” Ashton chuckled. “I’m not going to lie, it’s been a minute since we squabbled as a unit.”
Emani rolled her eyes. “Too many millionaires in this house to be squabbling. You just gave me a whole speech about it.”
“Yeah, Emani shit and frat shit a bit different. Behind you, we hurting niggas. Frat shit, it’s kicks and giggles. Come on, you know his big ass down there waiting. Don’t fuck up my dinner ‘cause you want to argue.”
Emani smacked her lips and walked past him. “You don’t have someone else’s nerves to get on.”
“Nah, you snuck off last night and I told you I was going to be on your ass.”
“Considering that’s the only thing you can reach on me, enjoy the view.”
