Emani stood and Malik smacked her ass, prompting Jahlil to say, “Make sure you eat, E.”
“I got her, big dawg,” Malik replied, before pulling her away from the table. “I thought you were saying hi, not grinning in his face.”
“I wasn’t grinning in his face, Malik. Please don’t do this tonight,” she damn near pleaded. “I’m wearing your dress, your ring, and no panties. I’m yours.”
She needed to soothe him before he embarrassed her. It worked for all of two hours. Now, they were tangled in the sheets and Emani was trying to think of everything to keep her in this moment. All the sweating and panting he was doing for him not to be hitting anything was a shame.
“Why you not wet?” he grumbled, spitting on his hand and placing it between them. “The fuck you thinkin’ about?”
“This wedding, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure it’s perfect. There’s so much on my plate. Just give me a minute, please?”
Malik huffed and dropped to his back. He pulled the condom off. “Maybe if you let me hit it without a rubber.”
Emani rolled her eyes as she walked into the bathroom. “After we’re married.”
“That shit can’t come fast enough. Let’s just go to the courthouse next week.”
She sat on the toilet and groaned into her hand. “You know you’re taking your mom on that trip. She’ll have a fit if you cancel or take me. After homecoming works.”
“Homecoming?”
“I told you I was going.”
Malik got up and found her. Dick now the size of a knub. “You said you had a concert. You’re doing that shit all week?”
“Yeah. It’s not going to be nothing crazy. It’s great album exposure. I haven’t put out an album in almost six years. I got to get out there.”
“You don’t need that shit. I told you, you got me.”
Emani closed her eyes, attempting to reset. Bad sex and an argument was too much to follow up a horrible engagement surprise party and seeing the man she swore she was going to do life with.
“I know I have you. I just want to have me too. Is that okay? I need to have something left after I become Mrs. Malik Kilpatrick.”
Malik lean down and kissed her face. “You have me, you don’t need nothing else. Can you flush this?”
Emani sighed softly and took the used condom from him. It was a shame that after a whole bunch of nothing, he came. She flushed it, washed her hands, and got into the shower. Malik was back in the bed, busy on his phone. Regrettably, on nights like this, she thought about how Jahlil had filled her to the hilt and made a mess of her, time and time again. The instant replay and the shower head allowed her a quick release. It wasn’t dick and it wasn’t the passion or intimacy that she longed for. But this was what she had, so she had to make the best of it.
Back in bed, Malik turned his back to her to finish whatever he was doing on his phone, before cussing to himself and getting out of the bed. Emani swore she heard, “stupid bitch” but it could’ve been her mind.
Malik dressed and looked over at her. “Roberts is having issues with his wife. I’m going to go over there before he catches a charge. Get some sleep, I love you.”
“Love you too,” Emani spoke, feeling in her gut something wasn’t right but she ignored it for the sake of sleeping. When morning came, Carson beat her to the studio with breakfast and coffee.
“You ready for me to tell you how I feel for real?” he asked.
Emani sat down and took off her shades. “I’m all ears.”
“You’re settling. Fucking quitting. Why?”
Her eyes fluttered and she chewed her bottom lip. “No one else is going to love me. So I might as well make the best of what I got with who I’m with. What’s the other option? Going back to having my head knocked between the washer and the dryer?”
Carson dropped his head.
“I just want to feel love, C. Even if it’s not real. So this is the sacrifice I’ll make.”
“For all of that, you can marry me,” Carson huffed. “And you know I’m forever against the shit. At least you know I’ll respect you. But this nigga. I don’t know, E.”
“Very noble,” she sighed. “But this is it for me. He got to find his happy, why can’t I find mine?”
