He reaches for me, but I take a step back. No more touching, not until I get my emotions toward him in order. As if he understands my unspoken reason, he curls his fingers and drops them to his side. “All right. I’ll see you in the strategy room in the morning.”
“You will. Goodnight, Kyron.”
“Goodnight, Raelle.”
The door closes behind him, and I release a long sigh. Things would have gone down differently if I were walking to my room with a Lucent man. Zek wouldn’t have feared for my safety, and Kyron wouldn’t have felt the need to defend his intentions with me. This was the perfect example of the high tensions that would always exist between our kingdoms, even with a common goal bringing us together. It’s just another small confirmation that this can’t work for our kingdoms, or for us.
I enter my room and shudder at the scene that greets me. My guard lounges in an oversized chair in front of the fireplace that takes up most of the far wall. He tilts his head toward me, and his eyes linger on the tattered state of my dress. To see one of my own sitting so comfortably in all this unnecessary grandeur vexes me.
One entire day here, and we’ve become comfortable with our lavish setting. This is all a lure, an image created with smoke and mirrors. Zek and I are Cyffreds; none of this is meant to be ours.
I bound across the room, wishing I could hear my feet stomping through the thick rug. This place even robs me of my expressions of anger. I flip open the lid to my clothes trunk. It slams against the bed’s footboard, and I find a little satisfaction that my irritation is properly displayed.
Zek watches me unfazed and says, “Fraternizing with the enemy isn’t a wise choice, Elle.”
“You’re overstepping your bounds, Zek,” I snap.
“Am I? My job is to protect you, and you’re off rearranging your clothes with the most dangerous person in this palace.”
Yanking out a pair of sleep pants, I slip them on under my dress. “First, the condition of my wardrobe isn’t any of your business. Second, you know my relationship with the prince is… unconventional.”
He stands and steps closer. “But you don’t disagree that he’s dangerous.”
If he would have mentioned the threat Kyron poses to me earlier in the day, I would have disagreed. I would have insisted that I’m the safest with Kyron, but now Zek’s words from the hallway linger in my mind. My stomach turns with the vision of Kyron standing under the water infused with the Posseda and taking my gift to prove he no longer wanted me. I’ve been so caught up in the fact that he discarded me that I’ve not properly dwelled on the atrocious act that led me to believe that. He siphoned my giftwith no remorse and has most likely done the same to others.
Pushing past the emotion building in my throat, I croak, “There are many things that are dangerous.”
Zek plunges his fingers in his golden hair and raises his voice, saying, “And that’s why I need to know where you are at all times! It’s my job to protect you from any threat, especially that Stigian asshole!”
“Watch your tone, Zek,” I say, reprimanding him with queenly authority.
We stare at each other in uncomfortable silence. Our lips set in firm lines and jaws clenching. The moments tick by until I can’t stand it anymore.
“I think it’s time for you to go. In the future, keep your snide remarks about my personal life to yourself.”
“Elle?”
“Go.”
Zek doesn’t so much as flinch at my command. He holds my gaze a second longer before puckering his lips and cocking his chin to the side. When he finally looks away, it is to bow. “As you wish, Your Grace.”
I wait for the door to close behind him and drop into the chair, resting my face in my palms.
I swore I’d never do one thing with my royal status: use it to undermine one of my people. No matter how frustrated I am or how wrong they are, no one deserves to feel belittled by the person whose wellbeing is in their hands. I played the future queen card with Zek, and I feel like shit for doing it.
And Kyron… I’m at a loss. How do I appease my need for him without sacrificing the principles I hold dear?
Everything seems so impossible right now, and it’s a weight that crushes me. I know what I’m called to do, how to put the needs of others in my keep above my own. However, I can’t deny my heart. It’s my pull, my drive. And it always seems to lead back to Kyron. There has to be a way to find balance. I just pray I don’t mess everything up while trying to find it.
Eight
Ashrill scream invades my sleep, and I bolt upright, scanning the room. Everything around me is quiet and set in dusty blue shadows. My eyes feel like lead, and my mind is groggy, primed to play tricks on me. I sink back down on the pillows and pull the blankets over my shoulder.
I found it hard to fall asleep after my confrontation with Kyron and Zek. The moments I spent in the hallway alcove with the prince buried inside me are riddled with self-doubt. I should have fortified my emotions against him, pushed them deep inside and never gave into my desire. I don’t necessarily regret having sex with him. How could I when it was exactly what my body needed? Our moment of angry passion felt spectacular, yet it blew a gaping hole in my defenses. I already crave more, and because of that, I’m going to have one hell of a time keeping him at bay.
My troubles with Zek were less complicated. I’d acted like a royal bitch. He was doing his job, even if it felt invasive. Watching over me can’t be easy. I don’t comply with the rules very well, and Micah requires constant updates. I shouldn’t have come down so hard on him. It’s a mistake I need to rectify as soon as possible.
Another ear-piercing scream jars me from my thoughts.
