As I realize he’s standing on old-fashioned attic steps, not floating on air, Gabe races past him. “Rose typed her email into a form on the dark web. Later, dudes.”
“You stupid or wot?” The man who I assume is Cousin Joey stares with his jaw dropped.
The woman under scrutiny returns his rudeness with a cupped middle finger. “None of your fudging business. Go back downstairs.”
“Hey. You want a favor or not?” While he crosses his arms, Rose shouts yes and I answer with a resounding no.
The young Vitale eyes the group and hones in on Sam. “This was your doing. Yeah?”
She rolls her eyes and points at the oldest. “Not this time. It was all her and Catrina.”
The feline suspect licks her paws to wash her face, a clear sign of guilt. The other accused sighs and plants a palm on a small keypad near the light switch.
“All I did was order a stupid doll and these guys are freaking out.”
Instead of the normal whoop-whoop of a house alarm, Suds’ voice shouts out a backyard speaker. “Y’all better skedaddle.”
A few seconds later, it says, “Get the hell off my property or I’m coming out.”
The real Sebastian, standing beside me, chuckles and his wife cups her ears. “Oh my God, the neighbors, shut it off.”
Her troublemaker cousin pushes the star key, the noise ceases, and my jaw drops.
“That’s your house alarm?” I’ve heard the detective duo can be a little eccentric, but man, this is nuts.
“Motion sensor controlled. I got it hooked up to my doorbell, too.” He leans over allowing Sam to whisper in his ear.
When she finishes, he nods. “Sorry y’all. The boss says we need to go.”
My new client crosses her arms and juts out her chin. “I’m not going anywhere with Mr. Kiss-And-Ditch. I ammuchsafer here. You guys do what you please. I’ll be fine.”
Everyone starts talking at once, including Catrina whose yowls start a chorus from the wild cats outside. A master of diplomacy, I put two fingers into my mouth, whistle, and they shut the fuck up.
“How about I stay up here in your apartment? Suds? Take your family someplace safe. Me and Miss Dark Web will be just fine.”
Chapter 4
Rose
Without a doubt, I hate mornings. Because I fell into bed and forgot to remove my makeup, my lashes are glued together and require manual intervention. Once I open my eyes, I stagger to the bathroom and gasp at the zombie in the mirror. Oh my effing God. My hair sticks out and a huge smudge of smokey-gray covers my cheek.
I suppose it could be worse. No one broke in during the night and no one died. Suds and Sam made a big deal out of nothing. The pointless drama upstairs was fucking ridiculous, but they can’t help it. Private eyes need to find conspiracies everywhere. It’s not their fault. It’s their job.
Once I turn back into a human, I will stand my ground and simply explain I don’t need a muscle head. Screw Mr. Sexy Skates. He probably leaves the toilet seat up, snores, and would have no problem eating my emergency stash of potato chips.
I glance at the cell phone and moan because I have exactly fifteen minutes to shower, put on my face, and exit. I don’t know why my mom insists we must dress nice for work. Most of our customers are so old, I could arrive in my bathrobe, and no one would take note.
The familiar worry nags me. If I don’t attract younger clients soon, our family business will go the way of dinosaurs and newspapers. Maybe today, I’ll pitch the idea of buying the building next door. We could convert the bottom floor into a nail salon and a massage parlor. I’ve done the math and approached the owner. If only I could convince my mom.
Enthused, I finish up and run out the door with time to stop for coffee at the bodega. As I dig in my wallet for cash, I turn, and bump into a broad chest.
“I’m sor-”Oh hell, no. “What are you doing here?” A trace of familiar pine scent hits my nostrils. It’s laced with something dangerously musky which shoots to my lady parts and has them begging. Because they cannot be trusted, I hold my breath, do not look up, and race out the door.
The bodyguard follows on my heels. “Rose, stop for a second.”
“I can’t. I’m late.”And my undies are damp.
“Listen, I’m sorry for dumping you the other night.” He sounds sincere but I’m not buying it.
