“Sorry, late for work. Some night, huh?” Rose stumbles out of her room and as she races to the bath, I follow only to have the door slammed in my face.
As my pants droop down my ass, I pull them up and zip. Did we have sex? The kitchen table contains two dozen empty beer bottles but when I sniff, there’s no scent. They’re props, intended to make me think I drank heavily and passed out. That’s not who I am but here’s the thing, my mind’s a complete blank.
Guzzling a glass of water, I methodically search the kitchen. If Rose drugged me, the proof is probably in here. A few minutes later, I locate the pill bottle in her junk drawer and roar out my frustration.
“Sonovabitch! You roofied me?” I stomp to the bathroom and after trying the locked handle, pound on the wood panels. “Woman, you better get out here now.”
Her response is to flush the toilet, run the faucet, and start the noisy shower.
It takes approximately three seconds to credit card the latch. She’s lucky. I was prepared to take my shoulder to the door and break off the hinges.
“What the actual fuck?” I don’t remember the last time I lost my temper which only pisses me off more.
The evildoer focuses on applying mascara, her nose to the mirror. “I had to leave, and I knew you wouldn’t let me.”
She speaks as if discussing the weather. This complete and utter lack of remorse is the final straw. Grabbing panties drying on the shower curtain, I stuff them in her mouth. Then, I bind her with her robe’s tie, put her over my shoulder and spank her bare behind.
Seeing red. I ignore her string of curses and ream her a new asshole. “You are fucking unbelievable, you know that? In my entire career, no one has ever drugged me, other than SERE training, which I apparently, have completely forgotten. I am such a moron. Rule numero uno, never fall for the lovely femme fatale, especially if she’s a mobster’s niece.”
While she kicks and grunts, I grab her ankles, and shout at the upstairs apartment. “Suds, ma dude, you owe me.”
The cat, holding down the fort, stares at me with his ears back and hisses.
“You started this, so don’t give me any lip.”
The yellow tabby lifts onto her back legs, stretches, and yawns. As if nothing is amiss, she pads down the stairs and pulls Rose’s dangling long hair.
The comical sight cools my temper enough to know I need some timeout. I place the roofie queen on her bed, break off a lamp cord, and bind her feet.
“Do not move.” Back in the bathroom, I splash water on my face, piss, and pop a couple pain relievers.
The first order of business is to call the Patten office where Hands picks up. I ask about Suds and the others. Relieved they’re all safe, I ask if the lab learned anything about the Muppet.
“You want the good news or the bad?” In no mood for his lame jokes, I search the cupboards for some damn coffee and ignore the wall banging in the other room.
“Surprise me.” My dry tone implies I’d rather chew nails than play games. I’ve had enough fun in the last twenty-four hours to last a lifetime.
“You’re lucky the battery in the doll was dislodged. Otherwise, you’d be dead.”
Recalling the camera in the eyes, I venture a guess. “The doll’s connected to facial recognition.”
“Bingo. Give the man a prize.”
“Okay, I dodged a bullet. What’s the bad news?” I almost hate to ask.
“The toy’s stuffing was soaked in fentanyl. I’m waiting for the lab boys to tell us more. You need to get Rose out of town.”
“Copy that.”
After updating the downstairs smart-ass, I trudge into the bedroom where my captive lies on her side struggling to break free.
It’s then, I notice the band-aid on her jugular. Straddling her on the bed, I peel it off and hiss. “Fucking shit on a stick.”
I blame her scent on my lack of communication skills or, perhaps it’s her beautiful olive skin, or the way her eyes dilate when I lean in.
I pull her panties out of her mouth and wait for her to catch her breath before asking, “Where were you last night?”
“I saw a man about a dog.” Scowling, she turns on her back, and arches into my heat-seeking-moisture-missile.
