She doesn’t answer so I try the handle and curse when it turns freely. Where the hell does she think she’s living? A farm in Iowa?
Her eyes widen as her mouth opens. “What-”
“The fuck is right. You left your door unlocked.”
She has the audacity to shrug. “No big deal.”
While we glare, a two-foot robot wheels into the room, circles my ankles, then blinks and winks. “Hello. I’m Trixie. Do you want to play Scrabble?”
“Huh?”
A male voice sounds in the other room. “Landy. Come here. I want to show you how I can pleasure you.”
God damn it. She has a lover? Three long strides later, I enter her tiny living area, and my jaw drops at the sight of a half-naked man. Wait. Strike that. There’s a half-man, naked on her coffee table. As I try to wrap my head around the strange image, a robotic fur-covered pooch barks nonstop.
The movie Sleeper comes to mind. “Tell me, is it housebroken, or does it just leave little batteries on the carpet?”
“Very funny. Did you ever realize God spelled backward is Dog?” Done quoting Woody Allen, she claps three times. “Down, puppy. Trixie, sleep. Jonathan, goodnight.”
All quiet, she puts her hands on her hips, scowls, and hisses. “Take it down a notch. Angry voices upset them.”
Angry? I guess I was but now I’m simply mad, in both senses of the word.Confused, I try to speak but nothing exits my gaping mouth.
“Well, out with it. Why are you here?” Her eyes narrow.
Clearing my throat, I scratch my head. Apparently, the robots fried my brain. “I, uh… I’m not sure.”
This circus must be perfectly normal for her because she doesn’t think twice as she wanders into the kitchen, grabs a beer, and hands one to me. “Let me help. You saw a guy punch me and wanted to save the day but missed your chance and now, you’re here to tell me how foolish I was.” She makes it sound a lot less chivalrous than how it played out in my head.
This time, it’s my turn to shrug. “What did you say to him?”
“I asked him why he stole my black box and he hit me. So, I returned the favor and, because he pissed me off, I made a mirror image of his phone. Fucking idiot.”
Probably now is not the best time to mention I did the same to hers. I doubt she’ll find the irony amusing.
While I ponder her audacity, she picks up said electronics and starts swiping madly. Interest piqued, I look over her shoulder and inhale the fresh citrus scent of her hair.
“Shit. There it is. Proof positive.” Turning, she waves the screen around in the air, making it impossible for me to focus on it.
“I give up. What did you find?” I grab her wrist, the dancing stops, and she points out a ten grand deposit.
A long, whistle blows through my lips. “You do understand anything you find will be inadmissible in court.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about the law. I need to find the buyer. There.” She copies an account number, sends it to her own email address, then sits at the kitchen table and opens her laptop.
“Send it to me, too.”
“Nothing personal, but I think I’ll keep this to myself, for now.”
“Ouch.” I walk to her fridge, take out a bag of frozen fries and place it on the shiner forming around her eye. “You shouldn’t’ve spoken to him by yourself. What if he’d had a gun?”
She frowns. “He didn’t. And, by the way, he attacked me, first.”
“Because of what you said, right?” Not wanting to wake the virtual beings in the other room, I hold back my temper. “You need to start thinking before you act.”
Those gorgeous eyes narrow, her lips purse, and as the tops of her cheeks redden, her tits harden under her t-shirt. “What I do is none of your business.”
“Like hell it’s not. In case you forgot, it’s my helicopter.” I clench my fists so as not to lift her into a kiss.
