“It’s a surprise.” Shooting her a wink, I open the baby buggy, tie in my wiggle worm, and hand him off to my arriving mother-in-law.
“Good Luck. We’ll see you later.” She cups the cheeks of her frowny-faced daughter and kisses her nose. “Smile.”
“You know I hate surprises.” Sam’s stomach grumbles.
“Not this one.” Grinning, I grab her hand and zigzag through the crowd.
“We’re missing Nona’s homemade panettone. We’ll be lucky if there’s any left. It better be worth it.”
“It is.” I pull her past her old parochial school playground, turn onto a block of row houses, and after a few more corners, stop opposite a duplex.
Across the street, beside an open front door, Mrs. Brown waves. My real estate agent must’ve attended church somewhere else because I would’ve noticed the orange, floppy- brimmed, posey-covered hat.
Her flowery-sleeved arm motions us forward and when we arrive, she steps out of the way. “I’ll be here if you have any questions.”
My heart overflowing, I lift my wife over the threshold and set her down on the newly sanded, hardwood floors.
“Whoa.” Big brown eyes widen at the modern, open space.
After she kicks off her shoes, I give her a tour of cabinets, marble countertops, and an island demarking the living area.
“Come see the upstairs.” More excited than a kid at Christmas, I pull her to the top landing. “Three bedrooms. Two baths. Do you like it?”
Her face turns down. “I love it, honey, but can we afford it?”
She’s so sad I can’t keep the deposit to myself any longer. Opening our bank app, I point out the bottom line. “We can put a down payment on it today, if you like.”
“Oh my God! Where did all that money come from?” Her mouth drops open. “Dash?”
“Yup. He said he couldn’t have caught the guy without us. We can move in as soon as the paperwork clears. You sure you won’t miss Rose and Mia?”
“They’re hardly ever there anymore. Mia has Hands, and since Rose and Wheels made up, I never see her, either.”
I lead her to the back of the house and her eyes water when I point out the swing set, the tomato plants, and a small grapevine. “I can’t believe you found this place by yourself.”
“Well, I did have a little help from your dad and Vincent. Neither one wants you too far away. God forbid, we move Mikey to New Jersey or Long Island.”
She hugs me tight, twists her fingers behind my neck, and after a long kiss, she wipes her wet cheeks. “Let’s go out and make her an offer she can’t refuse.”
“Or what, you’ll have someone break her legs?” Laughing, I tug her down the stairs.
At the bottom, she opens her jacket and points to her holstered weapon. Imitating her uncle, she inhales a virtual cigar and her pinky flicks ashes on the floor. “No one is outbidding us on this house, capice?”
“Yes, ma’am.” My mouth devours hers, and I kiss her until my cock becomes impatient.
Opening my phone, I text the real estate agent.
Me: Can you come back in an hour?
Brown:??Take your time. Call me when you’re ready to lock up.
“Who was that?” Sam scrunches her brows and tries to grab my phone, but I hold it up.
“If you must know, I’m having a secret affair with a fifty-year-old who has terrible taste in headwear.”
“No matter. I’ll send Divorces R Us. Joey will catch you in the act. You and your mistress performing the naked Mexican hat dance will go viral.” The disturbing visual sets off my funny bone and her giggle-snort makes me laugh harder.
“You have a seriously warped imagination.” My elbows on either side of her head, I press her against the wall, capture her sassy mouth, and slide my hands up her thighs.
