“Please do.” His tone sarcastic, he opens his arms wide as if greeting the queen.
In response, my wife stands, looks down her nose and adopts a royal stance. “Thank you. So, while I changed my son, Rose stood by my laptop. Now, understand. I don’t usually leave the keyboard unlocked but, as I explained earlier, the situation warranted quick action.”
She walks to my side and as I pat her hand, I try to explain to the rest. “She is the only card-holding member of the United Sisterhood of Danger Magnets.”
“Am not. Rose is a sister, too.”
“I stand corrected. Continue.”
“Mister and Missus Sutcliff, please.” Brows creased, the DEA man rubs the corners of his eyes.
“You done interrupting?” Glaring my way, my mini-me rambler sits primly on the edge of her seat.
“Yes ma’am. I do apologize.” Taking her hand, I squeeze it, and place it in my lap.
“Fine. And if anyone should be called the danger-thingy, it’s Catrina.”
“Who’s she?” Young manages to insert a question and feeling left out, I jump in to respond.
“She’s a gift from a hitman, but it’s a long story. Sorry sugar, but I sensed you needed some help to stay on track.”
“I suppose.” Sam rolls her eyes. “Dear God, where was I? Oh yeah. So, while I’m cleaning up the nuclear disaster in the bedroom, my tabby jumps on my computer and hits enter. This causes a pop-up screen with a form to receive a free Smart Sissy. Knowing I wanted one and also unaware I was on the dark web, Rose enters her email address which puts her in a zoom meeting where a man says a bunch of letters and numbers. Now, at first, she couldn’t remember what was said but eventually she did. Her boyfriend, Wheels, discovered it was a container code and with it, he located a truck full of opium-filled dolls. After some discussion, we all decided to steal the big wheeler and give it over to the FBI.”
When she takes a breath, the frustrated agent slaps his palms on the table. “We? Who’s we?”
“Everyone. My husband, his SEAL buddies, Rose, the cat…”
“And why not hand the shipment over to the DEA?” His spittle drips on the table and as Sam glances down, Andy pulls out a handkerchief for her to use.
She daintily dabs at a dry cheek. “You obviously aren’t listening. Should I start over?”
My stomach hurts from trying not to laugh at her obvious mechanisms but somehow, I manage to stifle it.
Young hears me struggle and glares my way. “You think this is a joke, Sutcliff?”
“No sir. However, I do believe you should pay better attention to my wife. Go on, honey.”
“Fine. The reason we were going to gift the rig to the Feds is because, as I said in the beginning, I was working for them.”
The interrogator shakes his head and sighs. “And you blew it up, why?”
“Well, I didn’t blow it up, obviously. I wasn’t even there. For information on the night in question, you need to talk to a witness, say… Sebastian.”
The agent glances down at his watch, out the window, then back at me. “Fine. Tell me how you knew the container was full of drugs.”
“Go ahead.” When my lawyer nods, I recall the details from last winter and try to sort the pertinent from the irrelevant, but it’s not what I do well.
“You have to understand, the doll belonged to Rose, but Wheels got suspicious when the cat hissed and sent it out to the lab… and by it, I mean the toy not the feline.”
“And why didn’t they tell anyone at that time?”
Andy Quinn slaps the table. “Your superiors have agreed my clients made a poor decision.”
Young grumbles about fucked up deals but my counselor’s poker face don’t even twitch. He’s the man.
“We can leave now, if you want.” Brushing off his jacket, my lawyer stands to go.
Young frowns and palms down, motions him to sit. “Fine. Somehow, magically, you end up following a shitload of opiate-filled dolls.”
