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Despite my efforts, he pokes his head out the window. “Yo, Sammy. How’re things up north?”
“Cold.” Child on hip, I grab the railing, and rush up the steps.
“Did youz find the girl?”
“Not yet, but I’m on it.”
“Can you watch Kimmy for me?”
“Why? Did Divorces-R-Us catch a break?
“Yeah, I got a tip from Rose. I should be able to get some cheating hot pictures of Gina tonight.” He snickers but I don’t feel too badly about the mean girl getting what’s coming to her.
“Luigi should’ve never married her. Seriously? An accountant and a pole dancer?”
“Any worse than a Fed and a bouncer?” He waggles his brows in a poor imitation of Groucho Marx.
“God Joey, you are so annoying.”
“T’anks, I try.” His head disappears, and before I can think of a comeback, his window slams shut
Inside, I fix some lunch then pull out my secret weapon; a walk-and-play mower.
Mikey laughs and as he pushes his favorite toy across the floor, the electronic voice asks, “What sound does a dog make?”
“Woof woof.”
With him happy, I open my laptop and start my research on the website owner. Odd how he rented a car. Especially if you consider he paid for a college parking permit.
A cow moos, a sheep baas and a phone rings with Slate’s callerID.
“Whazzup?” Leaning back, I unplug the headset from my laptop and stick it in my Samsung.
“Did you find the girl?” He sounds more harried than usual, so I match his pace.
“No. Dead ends. The college said they’re going to investigate thechestclub. The police didn’t give a shit. If she ran away, I wouldn’t blame her. The weather up there sucks.”
“Agreed. Listen up, I called in a few favors and got this.” He sends me a grainy EZ Pass image of Chrissy sitting in the front passenger seat of an Elantra.
“Whoa. Just a second. Akash, the UB mastermind, rented a compact. Hold on.” I type in the plate and get a match. “It’s his.”
“And the driver?”
“I have no idea, but I will find out.”
“Be careful, Sam. Prostitution rings can be very possessive of new talent. They’re not going to want to let her go.”
“Copy that.” Hanging up, I ping Jason. Before I can respond to hishow can I help you today, my son’s toy speaks, “The cow says moo.”
The geek-meme frowns. “The statement is untrue.”
A barnyard of bovines pops on my computer screen. Not wanting to argue with the AI unit, I send him the Amazon link where I bought the walk-and-play mower.
Mikey takes a few more steps and the voice goes off again. “A pig says oink-oink.”
“No, it does not.” Eyes behind thick glasses glare, then a five-hundred-pound grunting hog appears on my monitor. “The toy is defective.”
“Oh, for fucks sake.” I type in the search window.‘Why do we teach children animal sounds?’and paste the answer to him.
