Obviously, my caffeine-deprived brain does not function well and, as an added bonus, a small headache forms as I near my job. Blue-haired vultures wait at the front door, hoping to be the first to peck at some juicy bit of gossip.
Ignoring the rest of the dear old birds, I reach into my bag and hand Mrs. Nardo a contract. “As soon as you sign, we’ll start our investigation.”
“Fish sticks. I’ve moved on from him. I’ll let you know when I have a new man.” Bright peach lips purse and thick, matching bangles clunk together as she tries to return the paperwork.
“Please, keep it.” If I’m any judge of character, she’ll be asking me again by the end of the week.
The first order of business done for the day, I artfully arrange Mrs. Murphy’s pastries on a china plate and drooling, start the coffee. By the time it’s done, my two cousins arrive. Mia, the youngest, kisses me on both cheeks, puts her nose to the old-fashioned wall scheduler, and ushers our first two customers to the hair washing stations.
As I lower Mrs. Nardo’s neck to my pink sink, Mrs. Girardi, the butcher’s second cousin, sits at the other station. “Father O’Connell wants to talk to you. Someone stole the bingo pot.”
I sigh, recalling the ninety-year-old thief. “Everyone knows it’s Ned-the-Klepto. He’ll give it back. He always does. Just ask.”
Reaching over, she grasps my soapy hand with cold, bony fingers. “Oh no. We couldn’t possibly. It would hurt his feelings. You’re a private detective. Please. It’ll make him feel important.”
My aunt’s hair business drives me crazy but like the local barber shop, it hums with the pulse of the neighborhood. Without it,Suds and Samwouldn’t be able to stay afloat.
“Fine, but this is the last time. I mean it.” Finished rinsing, I towel her hair dry, take her elbow, and lead her to Rose.
All the while I pray the widow says nothing about seeing me in the drug store. Just in case it’s my last meal, I bite into a flakey sfogliatella, lick my fingers, and turn on the faucet.
Rose’s scissors snip-snip and tiny pieces of blue float to the floor while I pool in a messy puddle of sweat. Waiting and watching, I gently soap my client. When done, I kneel by Rose, pray for a miracle, and sweep tufts of hair into the dust bin.
Mrs. Nardo pays and is almost out the door when her voice scratches down my spine. “Samantha, bella, what was the result of your pregnancy test?”
There’s nothing like fresh gossip to make the scavengers circle overhead and it’s not just the over-seventy crowd. Mia and Rose also stare with mouths wide.
“It was for Josi, remember?” My hopes of privacy are dashed when my aunt joins her in the doorway and hangs her sweater in the closet.
“Josephine? She’s in Italy for the semester.”
I roll my eyes because I had totally forgotten that rather important detail.Oh, what a tangled web we weave…When the voice of Sister Scary Mary, my first-grade teacher, sounds in my head,I flick her off my good shoulder and pay attention to the bad angel who sounds more like my Uncle Vinny.Forgetabouddit. You got dis.
Coughing into my hand, I cover my face so no one can tell I’m lying. “She called from Rome and asked me for a favor. Tests are hard to get overseas. Be right back. I need a cigarette.”
I haven’t smoked since high school but it was the best I could do on such short notice. Pacing on the sidewalk, I’m still trying to figure my next move when my degenerate cousin stops by.
“Quick, give me one of your cancer sticks.” I open my palm with one eye on the ladies staring out the front window.
“You smoke?” His gaze follows mine and his brows crease but finally, he reaches inside his worn, black leather, jacket and hands me a pack.
After shaking one out, I give it back. “Please don’t ask questions. Light?”
He flicks a flame from a green plastic Bic and shoves it back in his front pocket.
“Thanks.” With the cigarette between my fingers, I pretend to enjoy without inhaling.
Joey eyes me like I’m nuts until our attention is diverted by a police car whooping at a double-parked car, blocking the road.
The vehicle doesn’t budge so a cop gets out and yells, “You deaf or somethin’? Move it.”
A seventyish woman puts her head out the window, flips him the bird, and burns rubber as she roars away in an ancient Cadillac.
God, I love my neighborhood.Once they’re gone, the wind shifts, and I inhale the pungent fumes of rotting garbage piled up on the sidewalk. My stomach lurches, I bend over, and almost puke.
My oldest cousin, more like a big brother, tucks my chin and frowns. “Yo, Sammy, you don’t look so good.”
Not wanting to discuss my health, I change the subject. “Did you sign my contract?”
