“Ishegunning for you?” Shit. I never trusted the hitman, even if he is my cat’s godfather.
“Honey, no, of course not. He turned the job down because we’re friends. Once we hung up, I may have freaked out just a little and called Uncle Vinny. But hear me out, I needed to know if it was true. I honestly don’t know how everyone else found out.”
“Sam, really?” Intel runs through her family faster than covid in a crowded bar.
On tip toes, her lips again connect with mine as her hands thread through my hair to the back of my neck. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not-”
“Pizza’s here.” Her Aunt Marion shouts from the kitchen.
“How the hell can a body manage a conversation in this madhouse?” Sighing, I turn the handle and go with the flow. “Two pepperoni. In here.”
A few moments later, greasy paper plates pass through the opening. I hand her a slice and after she digs in, I bite into mine.
Before I can swallow, Vinny pounds on the door. “Bum? You in dere? Let me in.”
He hasn’t threatened to kill me for at least a month. Encouraged by that fact, I finish my last morsel of crust and move into the shower stall with my oily right hand near my holstered gun.
“Thanks for coming to the rescue.” Sam kisses the mobster on both cheeks and he smiles with eyes soft.
“Niente, niente. It’s nothing.” Turning, he scowls into my glassed cage. “Whats a-madda wid you, huh? Can’t you keep her oudda trouble?”
“Obviously not. Who else knows about the hit? ” My overly dry tone causes my wife to turn her head and catch my eye.
Her pretty lips purse and her pony tail bounces as she shakes her head. “Most of my family, for sure… and Dad has a few men circling the block.”
Maybe I can stop this before it gets out of control. “Did Frankie say who put the price on her head?”
“Don’t worry abouddit. I got it covered.” Vinnie grabs a beer handed through the door.
He offers one to me but I decline because I need stay focused. “Thank you. And I mean it. But what about next week and the next? Professionals rarely give up. Too much money is at stake.” I need to take control of this situation before it blows up in our faces. Not only that, I don’t want to owe the mobster any favors.
While I ponder, her dad pushes the bathroom door open. Sam scoots her ass up on the vanity and Vinny shuffles to the back wall. All we need is a few clowns and we’re ready to take this show on the road.
“Vincent.” The chief of police stands in front of the toilet and nods curtly at his brother-in-law.
“Mike.” The other man gives a similarly cold greeting.
My gal rolls her eyes. “Daddy, Uncle Vinny? You can go now. Really. I appreciate your support but me and Suds can take it from here.”
I second the motion.“I don’t believe the hit was directed at her, sir. Do you know who might want to hurt you through her?”
My father-in-law’s face reddens as his mouth widens into a fierce scowl. “Lots. That’s why my family needs to stay the fuck out of trouble.”
He points a thick index finger at me. “Everything was fine until you came into the picture. She never would’ve gotten a detective license unless you had signed for her.”
Sam hops off the vanity and stands high on the toilet seat. “Not true. I was an FBI agent for over-”
“You were a paper pusher and a data geek and have no business playing private eye. Sweetheart, you have no street smarts what-so-ever which is why I insisted you re-apply for your old job. Or hell, have a few babies, do normal womanly shit. I told your mother. I warned her. Coddling your tomboy attitudes would only make things worse as an adult.”
Now, I don’t generally get involved in her family squabbles, but I do believe I’ve had enough of her father’s macho crap. “Sir. I won’t have you disrespectin’ my wife.”
I exit the shower stall, push him out the door, and do the same to Vincent. “Thanks for the help. Y’all can go now.”
I can be a scary bastard when I set my mind to it. I suppose my bruising grip on their upper arms may have helped but it might’ve been Sam’s colorful cursing. Whatever the reason, they depart.
Alone with my wife in the bathroom, I kiss her quick, then call Slate and explain the situation. About an hour later, an ambulance pulls to the curb with sirens blasting. Rotating red lights flash onto brick buildings and across our huge picture window.
