“Mr. Sutcliff, could you start with where you were three nights ago?”
“Sorry. Let’s see. I ain’t had a whole lot of sleep and like I said, the days blend into one another. Now, if you ask about last night, that’s easy. We went to bed early and around midnight, someone took a fucking crow bar to my, excuse the language, to my goddamn original oak door. I received an estimate and it’s goin’ to cost a couple thou’ to put everythin’ back the way it was but I was thinkin’, I want to turn the old waiting area into some living space. The place was formerly owned by a dentist. God, I hate them. I remember one time, as a kid-”
“Stop. Monday night, please.” Cheeks red, O’Shay’s voice tightens and his volume increases.
Stupid shit. He shouldn’t’ve messed with my rambling record.“Yes sir. You don’t have to yell. I got PTSD and you could trigger it. In fact, my disability is why I don’t keep a gun beside my bed. I could’ve shot the guy and not even known it. You see, me and my pals were in an ATV and this-”
“Mr. Quinn. Could you direct your client to answer my question?” The detective’s eyes flash and his hands twitch as Andy clears his throat.
“Monday night, Suds?”
“Sorry. Of course. On the fifteenth I was making dinner on account of my wife can’t cook. She’s brilliant but damn, put a fry pan in front of her? All her brain cells seem to-”
“Start with when Samantha called you.” Standing, O’Shay shrugs at the mirror. No doubt, there’s a whole lot of folks wagering on how long I can carry on before he gets pissed off and sends me home.
“Sam? She texts me all the time. I call her my little danger magnet. Damn. My girl can walk straight into misfortune. A couple months ago, she was investigating a cold case and captured the Manhattan Strangler right out from under your noses. I bet we ruffled a few feathers. I’m sorry, what was the question again?”
“This isn’t a game. We found a murder weapon in your house.” A vein pulses in the detective’s forehead and I smile for the cameras.
“Now, well. Ain’t that convenient. Someone breaks into our house, plants a gun, and you arrest us. I saw a movie once and the hero-”
“Mr. Sutcliff. I don’t believe you’re taking this interrogation seriously.”
“Serious as a heart attack. Now, as I was sayin’, on Monday, we ate dinner and Sam gave me a kiss goodbye. She said she had to follow a cheating douchebag, her words, not mine. We have an agreement. For now, we’re only investigating divorce cases. You see, she has a tendency to attract seriously deranged criminals and until I figure out why, it’s best we earn our money with safer pursuits. And, as much as I want to blame myself, I cannot. Her first task was simply to locate a missing cat. The next was a mite trickier. The church asked us to find a holy statue. Come to find out it wasn’t really a miracle, but then again it was, because it was carved by some famous Italian Renaissance-”
“Stop! What did your wife tell you on the phone?” The little blood vessel may pop out of his head. It would be a shame if he had a heart attack. I wouldn’t be able to beat my record. Maybe I should answer one of his questions?
“Samantha asked me to meet her and sent me the address. I still had my Patten vehicle because I hadn’t turned it in after my last gig. Slate, my boss, said I could keep it until my next job in the city but I was going to bring it back due to alternate side of the street parking which absolutely sucks. Every fucking day, whether I need the car or not, I got to move it and find a new place which sometimes takes hours…”
The detective stands, shakes his head, and looks at the two way mirror. “I’m done here.”
I am pleased to say, I strike out three more detectives before they say uncle. One wanted to throw me in jail for the rest of my natural life but it wasn’t until an officer threatened to shoot me, Andy stepped in. Still, I broke my record and I’m damn proud of it.
Once they release me, my lawyer yawns. “Ever think of giving online classes? You could make a fortune.”
“Huh. Good idea. I’ll look into it.” I glance around. “Where’s Sam?”
“They’re still questioning her but don’t worry. I got another attorney in with her.”
I’m not worried about her having counsel, I don’t want her competing with my hard won success. “Shit. You don’t mean to say she broke my rambling record?”
“Last I heard, she was still at it.” He eyes me, his mouth in a crooked grin as I slap my hand to my forehead.
“Holy God, I’ve created a monster.”
“Just kidding. She went home hours ago.”
