“Yo, Joey.” My wife enters the foyer. “Don’t you mean murder hornets?”
“Them too, but they’re not so much in Brooklyn. What with all da restaurants bein’ closed, the rodents are starving to death. But hey, whadda-I-know?”
“I’ll be right down.” I start down the steps with an evil grin and Joey pales with his hands outstretched.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, wait until I’m gone, would ya? I don’t need the plague. That’d be fucked up. Who’d take care of Kimmy?”
More than once, I’ve wondered if his sweet kid was switched at birth. Though, every day, she looks more like her dad. God sure has a warped sense of humor, giving an angel to a meathead like him. When he leaves, I haul the heavy box into the kitchen and place it on the table.
“Whoa. This is from Balducci’s. Nice.” She rips the cardboard, cuts open a salami, and stuffs a piece into her mouth. “Holy shit-ola, this is soooo delicious.”
My cock, which had the audacity to shrivel earlier, comes out to play. Nonetheless, I’ve decided to take him for a test drive before attempting to make love again. He’s one sneaky bastard.
While I grab silverware and plates, she reads the gift card. “It’s from the salon ladies. They wanted to send food while you were sick but I told them to wait until you got your appetite back.”
After we eat, I ping my pal Lucky, find him free, and call.
“Good to hear your voice, mate. I thought you might’ve cashed out for good.” In the background, his toddler giggles.
“Nah, you know how women are. Sam made it sound worse than it was.”
“I almost drove down there me-self. I had my coat on and the car gassed up. Slate was the one who told me to stand down. Said he had a hellie rotating on the pad to airlift you out.”
My chest tightens at my Patten brothers’ concern. The love goes both ways. I’d take a bullet for any one of them.
I feel bad I had them so worked up. “I told Sam to keep me home. You know how I hate hospitals and those doctors don’t know squat about this virus. I figured they’d be more likely to kill me than cure me.”
“Copy that.”
“But damn, I’m weak, you know? It’s worse than getting blown up.” We shoot the shit for a while before I wander into the reception area and close the door.
“You resting?” Lucky mothering me is ridiculous so I snort out a laugh.
“Fuck, yes, I’m resting. And tired of being tired. I need fresh air but I can’t even run around the block.”
“Chill out, pal. Give your body a chance to heal.”
In the stairwell, I sit on the top step. “Listen. Can I ask you something? Have you ever had your cock shrink just as things get interesting?”
“Can’t say as I have but I’ve heard some viruses can attack the testes.”
“You think it might be permanent?” I hold my breath and will him to say what I need to hear.
“I doubt it but you should talk to a doc.”
Shit. That’s not going to be easy with the whole city under siege.“Can you find me one, pal, on the down low? Someone I can discuss it with over the phone?”
“Sure thing, but like I said, slow down, ya bloody wank-ah.” He laughs signaling the end of serious talk.
“How’s your family?” I still can’t quite picture my wild Aussie brother as a Dad.
Lucky chuckles and messages me a picture of him outside with his girls. “Boston didn’t get hit hard. We’re all fine but the kids are drivin’ me bonkers. Callie is working from home so I have to play teach-ah.”
“I don’t envy you, pal.”
“Nor should you. They want to learn how to be a bodyguard.”
I chuckle. “Just don’t give them a weapon.”
