I sit up, my heart racing. “What do you have against weddings?”
“Nothing. I think they should be a little more private… intimate.”
“My family doesn’t do small.”Why is he being so unreasonable?
“What about what I want? Maybe I don’t want everyone, including us, going into debt for a huge fucking party and maybe I don’t want a weekend with a bunch of holy rollers.”
“Maybe you don’t want to get married at all.” I stand, fists clenched, my heart breaking open and bleeding out galleons of hurt.
“Maybe I don’t.” He steps on my puddle of emotions, grabs his coat, and storms out of the apartment.
Chapter 24
Suds
Perhaps, joining our gene pools is a bad idea. Half mob, half cop, her family’s dysfunctional while mine’s batshit crazy. What if she’s like my mom or worse, my stepmom? One walked away and the other I prayed would do the same.
Both Lucky and Slate said marriages should involve compromises. Well, two hundred fucking strangers is not my idea of the perfect wedding. What if I want to be hitched in a small country church with the smell of wildflowers blowing through the back door? She’ll be barefoot in a pretty white cotton dress. We’ll have a few close friends gather around while we say our vows.
Good God. I need a timeout to think things through.
Am I being a prick because I don’t want a huge affair? She said her parents will pay but how is that not selfish? Shouldn’t they be worried about their retirement? Twenty thousand dollars is a hell of a lot of money and yet, she made it sound like nothing.
Hell, I should say I’m sorry and make love to her. After, I can explain what’s important to me in a relationship.
I love her more than life itself but I don’t have a great track record with long term relationships and neither does she. I’m thinking this is a sign we should live together for a while to see if we’re compatible.
I ponder this for hours as I drive with my phone off. Breaking up with Sam would destroy me but if we can’t agree on a wedding, how the hell are we ever going to be partners in a business, let alone partners in life? Maybe I’m doing her a favor.
I drive, and stop somewhere south of Albany. If I go north for another hour, I’ll hit Lake George and find a small cabin to rent.
Chapter 25
Sam
All night long I wait for him to answer my calls or my b’zillion text messages. The GPS tracking app on his phone indicates he’s going north. When it becomes crystal clear he’s not going to turn around and come home, my eyes sting and I weep. Damn it. I blew it over a stupid wedding I don’t want half as much as my relatives.
Shit. I had no idea he felt so strongly about it. Why the hell didn’t he say something?
Maybe he did and I missed it? No, no. He doesn’t have any tells. He hides his feelings behind his southern charm and it’s damn near impossible to see through it. It’s not only me. He hasn’t been the same since we visited his parents. If he’d open up, perhaps I could better understand.
Whatever it is, I need to fix this. He’s way more important than a big affair. Sure, I’ll be disappointed but I’ll get over it.
After blowing my nose, and wiping my eyes, I grab my coat, then call Rose. “Is Joey downstairs?”
“Yeah, why?” The movie in the background mutes as I tug on my winter boots.
“I need his car. Can you get me his keys?”
“Sure, but why not ask him for yourself?” Rose’s voice takes on a bit of suspicion and despite my best efforts, I begin to sob. “Suds. I, I… He… I got-”
“Oh no, Sam. Slow down. Breathe.”
Halfway down the stairs, I zip up my coat and do as she says. “S-Suds got mad because I wanted a big wedding and left.”
“Don’t cry. Guys do shit like that all the time.”
“Not him. He’s all the way to Albany.” Locking the outside door, I rush down the sidewalk, and bite the edge of my gloves to pull them on.
