Chapter 23
Lochlan
Before I can grab the car keys and get the fook out of this shit show, Sienna, Andy’s wife, takes out her guitar. When she sings about being broken, about being someone who doesn’t see the light, I can’t take any more. I stand, topple the bar stool, and storm out of the room.
By the ocean, I kick off my sandals, toss off my shirt, and almost forget to take out my wallet. Then, I swim until it stops hurting.
When I finish, I’m out of breath but the hard knot in my chest loosens. My wife is sitting on my clothes, looking more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her.
I should be angry at her for putting me through crap but she loves me and her heart is in the right place.
Trying not to drip on her, I sit on the sand and put my hand atop hers.
“You mad?” she asks.
“Maybe. It was kind of a dirty trick.” Sand warms between my toes as I curl them deeper.
Her eyes capture me and for the first time I notice the dark circles under them. “I was desperate. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I really am a bloody wanker.” I’ve been so wrapped up in my own pain, I haven’t noticed hers.
She frowns and lowers her gaze. “Not really.”
“Yeah, I put you through hell. Damn. This proves what I’ve been saying. I’m no good for you. You’ll be better off without me.”
“Suicide by enlisting? Is that it, Lucky? I thought better of you.” She’s crying again but there’s nothing I can do.
I think back on the intervention. “That’s what everyone thinks, eh?”
“Are we wrong, Lochlan?”
“Maybe not.” I shrug, not wanting to admit it to her or myself, not yet.
“Will you hang out for a while with me? Take a vacation? Think about it?”
“I don’t know.” I can’t make decisions right now. My soul is scraped raw and every breath I take hurts like hell. Nightmares dance on the ocean’s mist, right below the surface.
“I love you, Loch, so much.” She feels so right as she tucks herself to my chest with an arm around my waist.
I’m fucking everything up.“I love you, too.”
“Blake is waiting for you inside, if you want to talk.” She bites her lower lip, “Or… we can find someone else.”
Being married to Jack, maybe she might recognize what I’m going through. “I’ll go but I’m not promising anything, Callie.”
“I’m not asking for promises, only this one moment.”
“Okay, then.” I stand. “Where is the good doctor?”
“In the house, top floor living room. You’ll have all the time and privacy you need.”
I stand and stare back at the house. I went through this therapy shit before and it didn’t work. I’m damn sure I don’t want to dredge up the past, again. However, my lovely wife looks so hopeful, I don’t want to disappoint so I trudge through the sand and back into Gray’s house.
I go up the deck stairs and poke my head into the now empty living room. “Blake? Doctor Taylor? It’s me, Lochlan.”
When she doesn’t answer, I heave out a sigh. I can tell my wife I tried.
“Come in.” Blake steps forward from behind the fireplace and smiles with both hands forward which I take and quickly let go.
