That sounds ominous. I do as he asks, and when I hear noises in the living room, I grab the heavy cover off the tank, ready to bash someone’s head in.
Braced, I raise the porcelain high. If an axe bashes through, followed by a,here’s-Johnny, I’m ready.
“It’s me, luv, come on out.” He knocks on the door, my breath whooshes, and I clunk the heavy rectangle back where it belongs.
He stares at the toilet and asks, “Just what were you doing?”
“I was, you know, going to use the tank cover as a weapon.”
He grins. “Happy to learn you’re always thinking. Come with me. I want to check out one more thing before we go.”
Taking my hand, we reenter my bedroom where he waves this weird electronic device over my costume, laid out neatly on my comforter.
When a red LED flashes, he takes out a penlight and shines it into one of the bodice gems.
“Fuck a duck, you picked up a tracky, luv.”
“Tracky?”
“GPS tracking device. It seems someone is interested in your comings and goings.” He pulls a scary-ass knife from his boot, digs out a black bead, then hands me the wand-like device.
“Squeeze the handle and pass it over me, slowly, both front and back.”
Having seen TSA do this in the airport, I generally know what to do but am somewhat embarrassed as I pass it over his crotch. If this was some kind of kinky game, I’d be all in but this is serious shit. When no LED’s flash, we head out the door.
“Wait. I almost forgot my laptop.” I run back for it while he picks up my kitty-carrier and overnight bag.
“Take the stairs.” He passes the wand over all of my things, grabs my hand, and rushes us into the waiting SUV.
Once we’re on the thruway, I calm but Lucky turns in his seat and eyes me with suspicion.
“What kind of strife is followin’ you and don’t say the jewels because every damn bloke in the city knows you had them in your ears all evening.”
“Strife? You mean like in trouble?”
“Yeah, luv, that’s what I said, isn’t it? What is it? Eh? Drugs? Loan sharks? I’ve seen it all so you won’t shock me. I just want to know who or what we’re up against.”
For a moment I think he’s joking. I never shoplifted as a kid, never ran a red light, or even had a parking ticket. “I swear, I’m so squeaky clean, it’s embarrassing. Once, I found a twenty-dollar bill and turned it into the lost and found.”
Suds asks, “You pissed off any wives? Friends? Coworkers?”
“Not that I know of.” I think over every aspect of my life but come up empty. Alan was over two years ago and I read somewhere his wife is filing for divorce. If anything, she’s thanking me for the heads up.
Both bodyguards wear deep frowns and the rest of the trip is spent in tense silence. When we pull into the driveway of a small cape in the middle of suburbia, Lochlan jumps out of the car and grabs my cat who yowls pitifully.
“Don’t worry, little one. I got you.” He gives a nod at Suds who draws his weapon and walks forward, leaving deep tracks in the snow.
A few minutes later, the driver waves us forward, Lochlan takes my mitten, and we enter the small house via the front door.
He brushes off his wool cape and stomps his suede boots on the inside mat. “We’ll get you tucked in safe and sound. In the morning, we’ll get the earrings back to the bank and if you like, I’ll order a top of the line alarm system for you.”
“Yeah. I’d like that.” I don’t even bother to look around, rather go straight down the hall. The first bedroom on the left has two twin beds with floral spreads, pink walls, and pink curtains.
I kick off my boots, stuff my mittens in my pocket and throw my coat on the other bed. Then, dressed in sweats, I climb under the covers.
A few minutes later, Lochlan tucks me and kisses me on the forehead.
I ask him the question that’s been bothering me all evening. “Why did you pretend to be this Sir James Bond guy?”
