She opened her private stash of client emails and requested a whole other kind of work. If she was going to be a single mother, she’d need the extra cash. There were lots of questionable jobs online and she finally found one that was up her alley.
The request was for a simple security breach. She supposed it was wrong, but large companies deserved whatever the small guy could dish out. A twinge of guilt impaled her as she wondered what Nan would say. But how was a woman without a college degree supposed to make ends meet? Besides, if she was caught she could say she thought the job was legit.
Once emails were exchanged, she let one program chug away and worked the others. She toggled off all forms of communication. When evening came, she opened the empty fridge and ordered Chinese. She checked her texts and missed calls.
Jack hadn’t tried to contact her. She should have felt relief, but her throat tightened and her eyes blurred. Had she really thought he would fight for her?
There was a text from her therapist’s office, with an opening that afternoon.
Smiling, knowing she wasn’t heading to Park Avenue, she slipped on her crusty old sneakers and caught the E train to Fourteenth Street. She changed to the N line downtown.
She caught her breath and dashed into the dilapidated building, just in time.
“Zoe. Wonderful to see you. I thought you were still down at the shore.” Doctor Larry rose, held her hand, and motioned to her to sit in her favorite overstuffed chair.
Zoe never felt comfortable on the couch. It made her feel too vulnerable.
“I came home early. I’m staying at Nan’s while she’s overseas.”
“Did you have a nice time?” He looked over the rim of his glasses and shuffled some papers on his desk.
“Yes and no.”
He smiled patiently and waited for her to continue.
“I met someone,” she sighed. “We had something, or rather have something, but now it’s all messed up.”
The doctor settled back in his own leather chair and folded his hands in his lap.
Zoe recounted the last few weeks. She included most of what happened, while modifying the paranormal interactions.
“That sounds pretty normal for a woman your age.”
“Yeah, I guess, but I’m not normal. I’ll never be normal.”Now more than ever.
“You like to say that a lot.” His eyes pierced her.
“It’s true.”
“Is it?”
“I have issues.” Zoe shifted uncomfortably. Issues didn’t begin to describe how being abused as a kid affected her behavior.
He smiled patiently. “Are you worried about how he’ll react if he finds out?”
“I told him about my past.”
The doctor leaned forward, raised his eyebrows. “That’s a first. How did that go?”
“He said he wished he could kill my father for me. Something about cutting his dick off.”
Doctor Larry let out a very rare guffaw. “That’s an encouraging response, don’t you think?”
“I suppose so.” Zoe frowned.
As Zoe left the building, she couldn’t decide if she felt better or not.
Fighting for normalcy was a life or death assignment. If she couldn’t find that balance, Jack was going to take what little bit of herself she had gained in the last few years. He’d eat her up whole and she’d be left like when she was as a child–a man’s plaything and her body not her own.
