She was still crying but quieter now. Listening. Maybe even believing a little.
"I will keep you safe, malyshka," I said. The vow came from somewhere deep in my chest. Somewhere I didn't examine too closely. "When you're big and when you're small. I will protect you. Being Little doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you a target. It just makes you human. And I promise you, on my life, that I will keep you safe. Always."
The word always hung between us. A promise bigger than the contract we were negotiating. Bigger than four years of service. Bigger than debt and obligation and all the practical reasons she was in my compound.
Always meant forever. Meant I was making a commitment my rational brain knew was insane after one week of knowing her.
But my heart didn't care about rationality. My heart was already hers.
She cried harder. Different now. Not the broken sobbing of guilt but something cleaner. Relief, maybe. Or grief finally finding a safe place to land.
I held her. Stroked her hair. Let her soak my shirt with tears and snot and three years of pain she'd been carrying alone.
"I've got you," I murmured against her temple. "You're safe. I've got you."
She clutched my shirt tighter. Burrowed closer like she was trying to climb inside my chest where nothing could hurt her.
And I held her. For tens of minutes—I lost track. Just held her and let her break and promised myself I'd help put her back together.
She calmed slowly. The violent sobbing gave way to smaller hiccupping sounds, then to quiet sniffles, then finally to just breathing. Her body stayed curled against mine, soft and warm and trusting in a way that made my chest ache.
I kept stroking her hair. Long, soothing motions from crown to ends. She'd stopped clutching my shirt so desperately. Now her hands just rested against my chest, feeling my heartbeat.
When her breathing had completely evened out, when the trembling in her body had subsided to occasional shivers, I spoke.
"Do you want to include regression in our contract?"
The question was quiet. Gentle. But crucial. Everything else hinged on her answer.
She didn't pull away. Didn't sit up. Just nodded against my chest.
"Yes." Her voice was hoarse from crying. Small. But certain. "I want to try. I want to be Little again." She paused, then added in a whisper, "With you."
With you. Those two words made something warm bloom in my chest. Made my arms tighten around her possessively.
But underneath the warmth was concern. Fear, even. She'd just had a complete breakdown. Had relived her most traumatic memory. Had cried so hard she'd made herself sick. And now she was making a decision that would leave her vulnerable in the exact way that terrified her most.
My protective instincts were screaming. Warning me that she was too raw right now. Too emotionally compromised. That I'd be taking advantage if I let her sign that contract in this state.
That I'd be no better than the men who'd tried to drug information out of her.
"Sophie." I tilted her face up so I could see her eyes. They were red-rimmed, puffy from crying, but clear. Focused. "Look at me."
She met my gaze. Held it.
"You just had a breakdown," I said carefully. "You're processing trauma. You're—" I struggled for the right words. "You're not in a neutral headspace right now. I'm not sure you can consent meaningfully to something this significant."
Her jaw set. That stubborn look I'd seen when she was arguing about the Thirteenth Amendment. When she was standing her ground.
"I'm sure," she said.
"Are you? Or are you just desperate for the structure and care you've been missing?"
The words came out harsher than I meant them. But I needed her to think. Needed her to really consider whether this was what she wanted or just what she needed in this moment.
Her hands pressed flat against my chest. Not pushing away. Just grounding herself.
"I've been thinking about this for a week," she said. Her voice was getting stronger. More certain. "Since you showed me the optional clauses. Since you called me malyshka and I felt something click into place. This isn't a breakdown decision,Nikolai. It's—" She paused. "It's the decision I've been too scared to make for three years. But I'm making it now. I want this. I want you. I want to be your Little."
