“Freyja, you can’t let everything he told you keep you from exploring and finding a life for yourself,” Nova suggests, his tone soft and compassionate. “He’s stolen enough from you, don’t give him the power to take anything else. I promised that I’d keep you safe, and I will.”
“Me too,” Chaney declares, her face shifting from being despondent to a wide, confident smile. “You and me, sister.” I love it when she says this to me, it’s a reminder that I’ll never have to face anything by myself because she’ll always be there at my side, holding me up.
“You and me,” I repeat, reaching out and gripping her hand with mine, giving it a light squeeze. Looking at Nova, I shake my head, feeling like I’m about to let him down. “I’m not ready yet. I’m sorry.”
“One step at a time, okay?” he asks. “If you never think you can take a step out that front door, it’s alright. We’ll deal.”
“Thank you. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to go out the front door. For right now, the backyard is as far as I’m willing to venture from the house,” I answer.
“After what you’ve been through, I’m just happy you’re willing to do that. We’ll have to do a lot of outdoor grilling,” Nova declares. “But not until the weather warms back up.”
I giggle because he tried to barbecue the other day and came in complaining about his balls shriveling up and hiding to keep warm.
Nova has taught us all about streaming and tonight, we’re on one of the channels surfing through Christmas movies. Christmas Eve and Day were always special for me and Chaney. It was the one night we could hide beneath the blankets and watch others celebrate and be left alone by Father. He was too busy trying tofind the end of a bottle to bother us. As a matter of fact, for those two glorious days, he all but forgot we existed.
Through Nova, I’m learning what Christmas is all about. We never thought it was about gifts because we never received any, but it still had a greedy feel about it when we watched kids through the screen of the television ungratefully rip through wrapping paper and tear off toward their rooms as soon as all the presents had been opened, leaving the parents to clean up after them.
I vowed if I ever got a gift from anyone, I’d show them how much it means to me. Not only would I pick up after myself, but I’d share it with the one who gifted it to me.
It’s midnight before we decide to call it a night. All three of us are beyond exhausted from our movie marathon. Chaney and I got our first taste of hot chocolate, which had us wired for a bit, and when we were handed a candy cane, my taste buds finally understood what tasting Heaven was like.
Before heading out of the living room, I cross over to the tree that we decorated by hanging lights, bulbs, and tinsel, feeling the needles as I close my eyes and send a silent thank you to the universe for sending Nova to us. A hand settles on my shoulder and the weight of it brings me back from my silent reverie.
“Let’s head to bed, sister. Nova said you could cook us all breakfast in the morning so that means we need to get a good night’s rest so we can get up early,” Chaney reminds me.
“I’m excited. I can’t wait to make those homemade cinnamon rolls we found the recipe for online. Are you sure Nova got all the ingredients?”
“I double-checked, everything you wrote down got delivered,” Chaney promises.
“Wonder why he sent us to our room when his friends came over? Do you think he’s ashamed of us?” I ask my sister.
“No, sister, I don’t. You want to hear what I think that was about?” Chaney probes.
“Yeah,” I admit, swiping my tongue over my bottom lip—a nervous habit of mine.
“I think he knows we’re still nervous around strangers, Freyja, and sent us away so we weren’t intimidated. The house was full of men, didn’t you hear all the different male voices?”
“I did, and I think you may be right,” I concede. “One day, I’ll be strong enough that I won’t need to be sent away and you won’t have to go with me for me to feel safe.”
“It’s no sacrifice, sister,” Chaney chides. “You aren’tonlymy family, Freyja, you’re my best friend. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”
“I know that here,” I say, tapping my finger on my temple. Then I jab my finger toward my chest cavity, directly over my heart and continue speaking. “But here, everything is jumbled and then I feel guilty because I can’t seem to get past my hang ups.”
“It’ll happen,” Chaney assures me, hugging me to her as she guides me to our bedroom. “Both of us have already done things we only dreamed of doing not too long ago. It hasn’t been that long since we took a chance and followed Nova. Nothing says we’re brave more than that, don’t you think?”
“It was hard, but I’m glad we did it,” I tell her as she shuts the door behind us and leads me to the bed, urging me to scoot in and slide beneath the blanket.
“Sweet dreams, Freyja.” She turns out the lights and a few seconds later, I feel her slide in behind me. “May you dance with the stars and climb over the clouds.”
“As long as you’re there with me,” I drowsily reply, letting the darkness consume me.
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
NOVA
“What the fuck is this? That’s a damn shoe size not a pant measurement. A four and zero? These look like they’d fit a toddler, not a grown ass woman,” I grumble as I separate the jeans for the sisters that my brothers delivered tonight along with our groceries.
