As he points, I follow the direction to see Steven approaching us with two cups in his hands. “What are you doing here?” I ask, unable to hide my smile.
Steven hands me one of the cups. “Hot chocolate. And a little birdy let it slip that you would be here today. It sounded fun, so I figured I’d join, if that’s alright with you guys?”
My cheeks heat up as I take a small sip of the hot cocoa, my eyes flashing him a flirty look as I nod. I go to ask Damian, but he runs over to Steven and hugs his leg. “I guess we have our answer,” I giggle.
“Mr. Steven, I’m so glad you’re here. You can meet Santa too!” Damian cheers as he lets go of his leg and stands near me again. I lower my cup, allowing him to take a drink of the cocoa.
Truth is, I guess we are both happy to see Steven. It’s no secret to either of us that I’m falling back in love with him fast, and it does terrify me in every single way.
The biggest way is that eventually, his parents, along with mine, will find out about us if Steven wants this to turn into something more than just a few late nights together.
Every piece of my heart hopes that he does.
But what will they do when we are public? Maybe they won’t do anything since at any time, I can tell Steven about what they did to me, what they threatened me with. While I’m not one for blackmail, they get what they give.
It may not be fair, but it wasn’t fair what they did to me, or to Steven. Denying him the right to raise his own child. I’m guilty as well, but I’m ready to own up to my mistakes. I’m tired of running away.
After around an hour of a slow-moving line, it’s finally Damian’s turn, and he jogs over, jumping on Santa’s lap. One of the elves hands him a candy cane while another snaps a picture for me.
Once the formalities are done, Santa asks him what he wants for Christmas. As Steven and I stand off to the side, we listen to him start to name a few toys, but what he says next nearly drops me to my knees.
“And what I want most of all this year is to meet my dad.” I watch the man playing Santa look over at me as my eyes start to wellwith tears. Just the saddened tone of Damian’s voice breaks my heart.
Steven immediately grabs my hand for comfort. I feel devastated that Damian feels this strongly about wanting to know who his father is.
I know deep down that I’m a good mom, but this is the worst thing I could’ve done to him. Lying about his father’s identity to him, to everyone.
Here, I thought I was helping. Now I know that’s not true anymore.
I need to fix this…
