An exaggerated sigh escapes me, and I roll my eyes. “Yes…I had a kid. He’s four and is the most wonderful thing in my life.”
He stares deeper into my soul.
I know that Steven wants more than that, but I’m not ready to give him what he wants.
I’m not ready to face the consequences of my own actions.
I’ve changed my mind from my earlier argument with myself.
Hearing him talk about me having a kid set something off in my mind.
If he doesn’t react well to finding out I had a child, what will he do when he learns that it’s his and I hid it from him?
For now…I have to keep things close to the belt.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” It pains me to see the hurt and disappointment on his face.
I never wanted it to get this far.
I never wanted to hurt him.
“Because I was embarrassed.” It’s not a lie, but it’s not the reason I lied to him. “After I left, I met someone and made one mistake, and it just so happened to result in a child.”
I’m disappointed in myself at this moment.
I have the chance to finally be honest, and I chicken out.
“Becca, it doesn’t change anything. So you made a mistake that resulted in the coolest kid I’ve ever met? Who his dad is doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing can change the feelings I have.”
God, do I hope so …
I’m shocked that he bought my lie, especially because if he looked long enough, he could easily see the resemblance between him and Damian.
Even down to the hobbies.
“It’s just a bonus that he is a magic lover. We can bond!”
Steven smiles again, and a small weight is lifted off my heart, but I feel even worse having lied to him yet again.
He is a wonderful man; I don’t deserve him.
But if it protects me and my son from the backlash of my family and his parents, I’ll do what I need to do and explain myself later.
Damian is the only thing that has kept me going these past few years.
I’ve built my life around him, and no one is going to destroy what we have.
“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do for work until I find a sitter?” I speak out loud, but I’m not necessarily speaking to Steven.
Genuinely, I’m worried about keeping this job and making sure some random nut job isn’t watching my son.
Unfortunately, I don’t know many people here anymore, other than people at work, my parents, and my grandmother. “My grandma is only free in the evenings…”
“No need,” Steven interjects. “You can bring Damian to work with you this week while your parents are gone. Between you and me, and the rest of the staff, we will keep him occupied.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to step on toes or anything.”
Steven waves his hand. “It’s no problem. Hey, Damian,”
Steven hollers across the office, catching his attention away from the tablet. “Want to come to work with Mom the rest of the week?”
“Yeah!” he cheers, throwing his hands up in the air, and I giggle.
Seeing him happy is worth all the hardship that I go through.
I want to make sure his life is perfect, even if I have to sacrifice things.
