“Hey, how was it?” Nate asked as they all stumbled into the living room. He had clearly been asleep on the couch.
“It was so much fun,” Mel answered, hugging Brooke and Anna in turn.“These two were a big hit. All of my friends loved you.”
“We loved them,” Anna slurred back.“Especially Jasmine. She was amazing.”
Brooke nodded in agreement.“Oh, and we kissed in front of Mother.” She still couldn’t believe it had happened. The fact that they had kissed at all, but also that her mother had witnessed her first kiss with Anna.
Mel threw her head back in a laugh.“And then they bought sex toys. Your mum left like two seconds after. It was amazing.”
Nate let out a laugh.“Didyoubuy any sex toys?” He asked his soon to be wife. He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
Mel giggled.“I did.” She winked at him.“Want to see?”
Brooke watched them, the ease in which they could discuss things like sex toys. Not just with themselves, but in front of other people. She thought about the fact that Mel had wanted a passion party as part of her bachelorette night, and the way all of her friends had so casually and comfortably purchased toys and laughed and discussed vibrators. Brooke couldn't really figure out what emotion she was feeling, but she knew it was somewhere near jealousy. She had discussed her feelings surrounding sex and sexuality with her therapist at length and knew that she struggled with a lot of internalized homophobia, and worse, shame. But seeing sexual freedom in her own brother was like rubbing salt in a wound.
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” she said, as gently as she could. She didn’t want to ruin anyone’s evening with her own past trauma.
Anna slipped her hand into Brooke's and squeezed.“I’ll come with you.” She turned her attention back to Nate and Mel.“Goodnight. Mel, seriously, thank you so much for inviting us. I had such a good time tonight.”
“Yes, I did as well, Mel,” Brooke added.
Mel drunkenly hugged them both again which was mildly awkward given that Anna didn’t let go of Brooke's hand and Brooke’s other hand was holding the bag filled with their sex toys. When they broke apart, the two pairs went their separate ways, Anna and Brooke towards their room and Nate and Mel towards theirs. Mel shouted,“have fun tonight ladies,” just before they made it to their bedroom door.
It made Anna laugh, but Brooke felt her jaw tighten and her cheeks flush. When they made it through the door Brooke shut it and leaned back against it, letting her head fall back against the wood with a thunk and a heavy sigh.
“Are you okay?” Anna asked, still holding her hand.
Brooke felt her shoulders sag, something that rarely happened.“Tonight was just a lot.”
“You saw your mother,” Anna said, stepping carefully into Brooke’s bubble.
Brooke's eyes filled with tears.“I’m still not enough.”
Anna let go of Brooke's hand to cup her cheeks.“Oh, Honey. You are everything.”
The tears spilled over.“I mean, I didn’t expect an apology. I guess… I just also didn’t expect to still see the disgust.”
Anna’s thumbs wiped away Brooke's tears almost as fast as they fell.“Brooke, look at me.”
Brooke forced herself to make eye contact with Anna.
“Fuck her. You were amazing tonight. You held it together, and everyone loved you. You made friends tonight and you danced and you were yourself. And your mother was bitter and sad and the villain and everyone knew it.”
Brooke let out a sad, pitiful laugh.“I just…”
“Still wish she was a good mom?” Anna supplied.
Brooke nodded.“Yeah.”
Anna rolled up on her toes and pressed a kiss to Brooke's forehead.“Do you want to put on PJ’s and snuggle and watch some Schitt’s creek? I downloaded season five for you.”
More silent tears fell. Anna was so kind. Whatever this was, Brooke was thankful to have Anna in her life.
“I’m sorry. Shit, was that the wrong thing to say?” Anna asked, quickly wiping Brooke's tears as they fell.
Brooke shook her head.“No, it wasn’t. I’m just drunk and you’re so nice to me.”
Anna’s expression softened. She didn’t say anything, she just leaned up on her toes again and kissed Brooke on the lips with the world’s softest, sweetest kiss.“Come on, drunkie. Let’s get ready for bed.” She grabbed the black bag from Brooke's hand and stepped back, giving Brooke room.
