Brooke tilted her head so that she could kiss Anna’s palm.“I always want to know what’s worrying you. I just don’t want you to worry that I’m going somewhere, Darling.” She tilted her head and kissed Anna’s other palm.“Especially not when I just got you. I know this is new. And I know that we may not work, but if we don’t, I can promise you without a doubt, your back won’t have been the cause.”
“I love you,” Anna whispered.
Brooke smiled down at her.“I love you, too.” She leaned forward to place the smallest of kisses on the tip of Anna’s nose.“Thank you for trusting me with that.” It might have been a cheesy sentence, but Susan, her therapist had said it to her once after a particularly heavy session and it had stuck with her. There was something to be said about trusting someone with your deepest insecurities and after spending several days in the depths of her own, it was nice to know that a trust between them had really been built, that the trust went both ways.
“Thank you for not running away.”
Brooke shook her head.“Nope, you’re stuck with me.”
“I brought lotion.” Anna nodded towards her suitcase.
Brooke looked over her shoulder at Anna’s rolling suitcase, too far from the bed to be reached without Brooke having to get up. She turned back to Anna, fighting the urge to be too shy to get out of bed while naked. Anna had just shared her biggest fear and vulnerability with Brooke, Brooke wouldn’t balk now.
She untangled herself from Anna and wiggled out from under the covers. The room was cool against her naked body. She and Anna had quite a warm cocoon tangled in the sheets. She tried not to shiver as she lifted Anna’s suitcase and set it on the foot of the bed.“Alright, what am I looking for?” she asked, looking up, waiting for Anna’s instruction.
Anna’s eyes were decidedly not on Brooke's face. Brooke felt a warm flush creep across her chest, unprepared for how the look in Anna’s eyes could impact her entire body.
“It’s, um.” Anna shook her head a little, forcing herself to find Brooke's eyes.
Brooke smirked at her.“Uh-huh, and what were you saying about me looking at your breasts?”
Anna’s easy, open smile was positively radiant.“I don’t remember.”
“Riiiiight,” Brooke teased.
“It’s in my makeup bag,” Anna said finally.
Brooke produced the bag that Anna had had in the bathroom with them the day before. She handed it to Anna without even bothering to unzip it. She knew the chaos of the bag would just stress her out. Anna had been more than able to navigate it, so she passed it off without a second thought.
With one stir of her hand, Anna produced a tube of lotion. She returned the bag to Brooke, who slipped it back into the suitcase, and the whole thing back to the floor where it had been. The air was suddenly heavier. Anna seemed smaller, somehow, like the bed might swallow her whole. Brooke quickly crawled back under the covers, desperately needing to hold her, to wipe the fear away.
Brooke could feel Anna’s nerves rippling through her.“You don’t have to roll over, Darling,” Brooke reassured her.“I can rub your back like this.”
Anna shook her head and took a deep breath.“No, I can do this. I want to do this. I’ve just never done this before.”
Brooke surged forward and kissed Anna several times, quick chaste, reassuring kisses. Then, Anna scrunched her eyes shut tight and rolled over, onto her stomach, burying her whole head under her pillow. Brooke did not want to downplay Anna’s self-consciousness at all. The scars on Anna’s back were proof of a lifetime of pain, but they didn’t bother Brooke at all. She wasn’t sure what the best approach was in the wake of Anna’s apparent stress. So, Brooke just leaned forward and kissed the center of Anna’s back.
There was a thick scar that ran the length of Anna’s back, just to the left of her spine. Brooke couldn’t imagine such a young person having to go through so much so suddenly. It must have been surgical, or perhaps from multiple surgeries. She still wasn’t sure of the extent of Anna’s medical treatments. Anna had mentioned being in a coma and having to do less PT than her mother.
Much of her right shoulder looked as if it had been burned. There were smaller scars littering her back, all down her spine, her shoulder blades, and her ribs. They trailed lower, too. Brooke gently traced down Anna’s back, thankful that the woman she had fallen madly in love with was alive at all. That thought alone made Brooke lean forward to kiss down Anna’s spine.
Anna let out a soft whimper as Brooke kissed lower.“Is this okay?” Brooke asked, afraid that Anna’s vocalization might not have been in a good way.
“You’re not grossed out?” Anna asked, her voice still a little unsure.
Brooke shook her head no, but realized that Anna wouldn’t be able to see her with her face hidden under the pillow like it was.“I’m definitely not grossed out, Darling.” Brooke kissed the center of Anna’s longest scar again.“I’m pretty impressed with just how perfect of a straight line this one is,” she thought out loud, tracing it with the tip of her finger. Goosebumps rose all over Anna’s skin.
“That was a surgery, mainly,” Anna said, softly.
Brooke hummed in acknowledgment as she flattened her hand over the center of it. Her fingertips and the base of her palm could just reach the tips of it. She felt Anna finally relax under her touch. The more she kissed and touched, the more comfortable Anna seemed to be. Brooke wasn’t sure how much time had passed before Anna finally moved the pillow off her head and dared to glance at Brooke. Brooke just smiled warmly at her.
“Hi,” Brooke whispered.
Anna returned her smile with a soft, shy smile of her own.
“Are you ready for a real back massage?” Brooke asked. She hadn’t wanted to rush Anna or jump right into it. For one, Anna wouldn’t have been relaxed and it probably would have been counter-productive. Second, she really did want to reassure Anna that she wasn’t going to run.
Anna nodded happily and wiggled a bit, getting more comfortable. It made Brooke let out a soft laugh of relief that Anna genuinely seemed at ease. She scooped up the bottle of lotion and read the fragrance name Moonlight Path, she popped the cap open and smelled it, hopeful that that was that last piece of Anna’s scent that she still couldn’t place—even as buried in it as she had been. Sadly, the lotion just smelled like fresh laundry. It was a nice smell, but not the missing piece.
