“What the fuck is happening right now? Am I still dreaming?”
The last thing I remember is getting off a grueling overtime shift at the urgent care clinic, coming home, and crashing hard until my cell rang.
I blink away the fog of sleep and stare at my brother’s face on my phone screen, along with some very strange-looking folks surrounding him.
I squint. Wait, are those costumes?
“Hey, Gemsy,” he says, using my childhood nickname and looking distinctly nervous.
That’s when I know something is very wrong.
“So, yeah,” he continues, almost tripping over his own tongue, “some crazy stuff happened last night, and, well… surprise! I actually found aliens in the desert.”
He punctuates that with a sad attempt at jazz hands. Clearly, my high school drama club-inspired teachings didn’t manage to stick with him. Awkward but adorable, that’s my brother for you.
Then what he said sinks in, and I choke as I gape at the brightly coloredmotherfreaking alienscrowded around my brother.
Felix wrings his hands as he rushes on. “Yeah, so I spotted them when they landed in the desert on a covert mission to acquire a ton of Christmas decorations. It’s a long story, don’task. Anyhow, one thing led to another and they… er…invitedme aboard their ship for an intergalactic adventure. Cool, huh?”
I have never considered myself a fainting damsel in distress, but at this moment I am genuinely concerned I might pass out. What the ever-loving fuck is happening right now?
The bright pink alien leans closer to the screen and waves a few matchingtentaclesin the air. “Fear not, sister of Felix. Your brother is our guest, and we will take very good care of him.”
Oh. My. Fucking. God!
“What in the tentacle-porn hell is going on right now?” I screech.
That’s when a super-hot alien goddess steps forward, her green tentacles swaying and matching green pigtails bobbing on her head.
I’ve never seen anyone so mesmerizing in my life.
“Hi there, gorgeous. I’m Luna Bazran, the ship’s engineer,” my brand-new alien crush purrs in a sexy voice that makes me tingle all over.
That old disco song “Ring My Bell”—Nana loved that music—plays in my head as I stare at Luna like a hormonal teenager faced with the hottest girl in school. I mean, I know I’ve been hard up in the lovin’ department, but my libido has locked on Luna like a tractor beam.Heh.
She waves a tentacle in the air, and I can’t look away.
Of course, she notices.
“Like what you see?” she says with a flirty tone I’m very into. “We are part of the Dravethian species, and we possess a few more appendages than you humans. They come in quite handy forallkinds of things.” She follows that up with a wink.
Holy sexy alien temptress with tentacles!
I’m ready to get on my knees for you, honey.
I have to swallow a few times to produce enough saliva to speak. “Uh, hi, Luna. I’m Gemma.”
Smooth, Gemma. Real smooth. You sound even more awkward than Felix.
I wince. “What kind of trouble did my brother get himself into this time?”
Luna chuckles, and the slightly husky sound makes me shiver. “Don’t worry. Felix is a sweetheart. He did nothing wrong. Totally our fault. He happened to spot us and our ship when we were trying to remain hidden from human eyes, obviously not very well. Freaked out, we kinda panic-abducted him to try and figure out what to do.”
Suddenly, I notice another person nearly behind the pink alien. Well, fuck me sideways. It’sanotherhuman. At least… I think he’s human.
“Ahem, hey you, hiding behind Mr. Pink. Who the hell are you?”
He sighs and gives me a half-hearted wave. “I’m Sasha.” He jerks a thumb at the pink guy. “His husband.”
