I’ve barely wrapped my head around how impossible this ride seems to my poor overwhelmed psyche when the coaster sends us careening out into the universe at breakneck speed and straight through part of the Rainbow Nebula, which is even more beautiful than what Kubrick envisioned in his film. It’s surreal and downright sublime on one level, but on the other, I’m ready to shit my pants at the knowledge that there’s nothing between me and guaranteed death other than an unexplained clear material. What if it cracks? What if an asteroid suddenly hits it?
Right when I think it can’t get any more petrifying, I see that the end of the track is fast approaching, and we aren’t slowing down one iota. Alarm bells go off in my mind as my primal instincts for self-preservation kick in.
“Isn’t this awesome?!” Luna shouts at me, sounding like she’s having the time of her life.
“Aahhhhh!” I scream, and my heart drops into my stomach when the coaster reaches the end of the horizontal track and does a full motherfucking ninety-degree vertical drop.
This experience will probably give me nightmares for years, but a small part of me can’t help but admit it’s also super fucking cool. Good god, am I already old before my time? Have I lost my youthful, adventurous spirit?
While I enjoy fun escapades, I’ve never considered myself a hard-core adrenaline junkie per se. However, when I manage to dart a glance at Luna, whose expression is downright beatific, I can see that she clearly is.
Yeah, okay, that tracks.
The freefall sensation finally ends when we turn onto another horizontal track, which takes us back to where we started. Whenwe come to a complete stop, I’m dazed, frozen in place and feeling like I’m coming down from way too many gummies.
Fuck what I wouldn’t give for a gummy right now. Maybe three.
Luna leans over and practically shoves her face into mine. “You okay, babe?”
“If I was a cat, I would have seen all nine of my lives flash by and then met the goddess you told me about.”
Luna cocks her head. “Thekmis.”
“Yep.”
She considers me for a moment. “Do you want to get out of your seat?”
“That would be great. Not sure I can actually move yet. My neurons aren’t firing directions to my limbs at the moment.”
Luna chuckles and unbuckles me. Then she hops up onto the platform and reaches down with her powerful tentacles to gently lift me onto solid ground. Her tentacles prop me up, which is good because I’m not sure I could stand on my own quite yet.
My girlfriend—fuck, that’s such a trip too—pulls me into her arms and rubs my back, helping ease some of the tension out of my muscles. Once again, she’s earning brownie points without even trying. I love that about her.
“Better?” she asks after a few long moments.
“Well, I’ve gone from frozen in terror to mild trembling, so I suppose that’s a sign of improvement, right?”
Luna slowly moves in and lays a legendary lip-lock on me that erases every damn thought in my mind. When she eventually pulls back, I grin like a fool, feeling delightfully warm and tingly all over.
“That helped a lot,” I say. “You should do it again.”
Luna chuckles. “I’d love to, but we’re kind of blocking the next round of riders.”
I look around and begrudgingly admit she’s right. Dammit.
Luna links arms with me and keeps a tentacle around my waist as we navigate our way through the crowd of folks waiting for their turn on what I shall forever call the Coma-Inducing Coaster of Chaos.
Don’t get me wrong. I’llneverforget the ride, but once was definitely enough for me, that’s for sure. Or at least until my poor human brain can more fully adjust to life among the stars and the technological advancements of extraterrestrial species that far surpass anything on Earth.
Luna points a tentacle off to the right. “After that wild ride, I think we should chill for a bit and get some food. Let’s check out the Galactic Grub Hub.”
As she leads me in that direction, I gaze up in wonder at the massive neon archway sign that welcomes us to the Galactic Grub Hub. As we pass under it, I quickly realize it’s the extraterrestrial equivalent of a food court.
Okay, that’s something I can handle, no problem.
The place is busy and there are a stunning variety of vendors to choose from—a popcorn stand called Comet & Kernel, the Nebu-latte Café, Dwarf Star Donuts, Steamy Solar Spuds, Plasma Pizza Pies, Celestial Creamery, Cosmic Candy Emporium, and so on.
Luna, decisive as always, makes an almost immediate beeline for the AstroBurger Shack. I study the menu only to quickly discover that I’m way out of my depth. There are a lot of meat options you don’t see on Earth. While I suppose that makes total sense—duh, outer space—it’s also incredibly alienating, pun intended.
