He started out playing a few abstract notes, attempting to tap into his composing brain. But nothing new would come out of him. Everything was blocked up and muddled. So he switched to playing the older composition that he would be recording with a string quartet that afternoon.
Even that gave him a hard time, though. He got the notes right, but his music had no soul to it.
He switched to one of his favorite pieces that someone else had composed, the theme from the filmThe Piano. He loved that music, its emotional intensity and its driving rhythms. That theme was one of the things that had sparked his interest in music ages ago and had started him on the path he walked now. It was ironic that the official title of the song was “The Heart Asks Pleasure First”.
As he played, Jude’s face filled his thoughts. So did his body. The music he played was a perfect accompaniment to remembering a hot night of passion. Everything had happened so naturally at the hotel in Scotland. They’d been perfect together, in perfect sync. Why couldn’t they seem to grasp that again in London?
Nally stopped playing mid-song and slammed his hands on the piano keys. He wasn’t going to be able to get around it. There was only one thing he could do that stood a chance of helping him sort things.
With a sigh, he took his phone off the side of the piano where he’d put it earlier and scrolled through his contacts until he found Timothy’s name. There was a chance Tim had changed his number, but Nally didn’t think so. The break-up had been between Timothy and Jude, not him and Timothy. Even though Nally had chosen Jude all those years ago, there weren’t any bad feelings between him and Tim.
“Hello?” Timothy answered the call right away. “Nally?”
Panic closed Nally’s throat for a second. This was a terrible idea.
“Hey, Tim,” he forced himself to say before things turned too awkward.
“It’s great to hear from you,” Timothy went on, sounding completely genuine. “I would have called to congratulate you after the premiere ofTo Serve Himthe other week, but I figured you’d be incredibly busy becoming a composing superstar.”
Nally breathed out a self-effacing laugh. “It’s been a crazy last couple of weeks. I don’t think it’s even been a full fortnight.”
Timothy laughed. “Listen to you. A fortnight. You’re still talking like Jude.”
Once again, everything inside Nally threatened to seize up with fear. “Yeah, about that,” he started.
Timothy cut over him with, “I see the two of you are still spending a lot of time together,” before Nally could find the courage to ask all the things he needed to. “I always knew the two of you would end up together.”
Nally froze. “You did?”
“Of course,” Timothy laughed. “Why do you think things fell apart so spectacularly between me and Jude back at uni?”
Nally’s jaw dropped. He had to force himself to move it and to work moisture back into his mouth so he could talk. “Actually, that’s why I called,” he said, voice hoarse.
“Oh?” Timothy sounded so kind, so open.
“Why did you and Jude break up?” Nally asked in a rush before he could chicken out. Asking the question opened the floodgates. “Jude has been my best friend since we were kids, but everything has changed lately. We want more than that. We even had sex once. But now everything is so shit and it’s like we don’t even know how to talk to each other. We’re both so afraid of—” He stopped, suddenly anxious about offending Timothy.
“Afraid of everything blowing up like it did with the three of us when I called things off with Jude?” Timothy asked gently.
Nally couldn’t breathe. His face heated like a furnace, and his hands shook. “You broke up with Jude? I…I never really asked what happened. I was too busy trying to salvage my friendships with both of you. I’m sorry I chose Jude over you.” Waves of old guilt washed back over Nally.
But Timothy just laughed. “No, you’re not,” he said. Nally could hear the smile in his voice and remembered what it lookedlike, even though he hadn’t seen it for years. “And you made the right decision, so don’t feel bad.”
“I do feel bad,” Nally said, sagging on the piano bench and wishing he had a chair he could flop back into.
“Of course you do,” Timothy laughed. “You’re the most sensitive, angst-filled, beautiful soul I’ve ever known.” Nally’s face felt even hotter. “Next to Jude, that is.”
“We’re both basket cases,” Nally said, nearly sobbing. “We’re never going to be able to make this work.”
Surprisingly, Timothy laughed. “You’ve already been making it work for years now. The only people who haven’t realized that you two are and always have been a ride-or-die item are the two of you.”
It felt one hundred percent true, but also awkward as hell. They must have looked like such fools for years.
“I really liked Jude,” Timothy went on. “I count myself lucky that I got to date him for those few weeks. But it always felt like we were cheating on you. No sex is good enough to override guilt like that.”
“Wow,” Nally gusted out, pushing a hand through his hair.
“I didn’t see it that way back then, of course,” Tim said. “It was uni. We were all hopped up on hormones and full of ourselves. I blew up at Jude and told him I didn’t want to be anyone’s sloppy seconds. I shouldn’t have let the whole thing bruise my ego the way I did, and I definitely shouldn’t have channeled my disappointment into being so pissed off and combative, but I knew immediately that it was the two of you forever and I was just a phase for Jude.”
