That left Ryan and Nally alone to clean up the last of supper.
“So, you two finally took the plunge, did you?” Ryan asked as they gathered up the last of the dishes and headed into the kitchen.
The last thing Nally wanted to do was to talk about something that still felt so raw and potentially volatile in his life. Then again, Ryan was his older brother, and presumably he had more experience with the world. He had lived in Milan, and Paris for a while, too.
“Don’t laugh at me,” he started, “but yes. The nature of my and Jude’s relationship has…intensified.”
Ryan laughed as they scraped plates and stacked the dishwasher. “Look at you, talking about sex and dating like it’s some sort of higher level of a secret society.”
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Nally asked, insecurity taking over. “Best friends don’t actually turn into lovers in real life, only in books.”
“Nonsense,” Ryan said with a snort. “The best relationships I know are where the couple started out as friends first.”
“Lifelong friends?” Nally pressed him. “Friends who used to play knights fighting dragons out in the meadow?”
“I’d forgotten that you two used to do that,” Ryan said, his face lighting up. “You two were really into playing knights.”
“And now we’re really into each other,” Nally muttered, half to himself.
“What are you so worried about?” Ryan asked, closing the dishwasher, then leaning against it.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Nally burst with too much energy. “That the whole thing will flame out? That having sex will destroy the most important friendship of my life?”
“That it will be Timothy all over again?” Ryan spoke the third question on Nally’s lips.
Nally huffed out a breath through his nose and sagged. “I don’t want to lose him.”
Ryan made a tutting sound and pulled Nally into a brotherly hug. “Only a neurotic mess like you could worry about losing something he’s had for over a decade before things have really gotten started.” He leaned back, staring at Nally, then said,“I’m assuming things have only just gotten started? That’s what Scotland was all about?”
Nally hesitated, then nodded. Scotland was about escaping Quentin, too, but he hadn’t truly filled his family in on all those details. He didn’t want to worry them.
Which felt like exactly what Jude had said about not wanting Nally to worry.
“What do I do?” he asked Ryan at last.
“What do you mean?” Ryan crossed his arms and leaned against the counter again.
Nally shrugged. “This is the most important relationship of my life. I love Jude and the sex was amazing. Everything seemed so clear and easy just a few hours ago, when it was only us on the road. But now I’m freaking out again. It isn’t just us. It’s our family and his, all the people we know, and the entire world of social media. We feel so good together now, but what do I do to stop things from going sour, like they did with Jude and Timothy?”
“Well, first of all,” Ryan began, “you’ve come to the wrong person if you’re asking about relationships. I have and probably always will suck at them.”
“You’ve had boyfriends before, right?”
“Not for very long,” Ryan replied. “I’ve never been as good at feelings as the rest of you lot.”
Nally grinned. Ryan had always been the most cerebral of the Hawthornes.
“But most importantly,” Ryan went on, “Jude is not Timothy and neither are you. I get the whole fear of losing something precious, but without risk there is no reward.”
“I hate that,” Nally grumbled.
“You can hate it all you want, but it’s true,” Ryan said. “And think of it this way. The reason you’re so freaked out aboutlosing Jude is because you love him so much. That’s actually a great place to start from.”
“I suppose,” Nally said, still not feeling better.
“You need to get out of your head about this,” Ryan continued. “Both of you do. Stop putting so much pressure on yourselves. Do something normal like, I don’t know, go on an actual date.”
“A date?” Nally arched one eyebrow.
