Jude could have burst into song. Nally was acting normal. The strain between them from the night before was gone. Sure, Jude had avoided checking Nally’s socials since the other night like his life depended on it, but that all seemed a million miles away as Nally donned his helmet then climbed onto the scooter behind him.
“Ready?” Jude asked after putting his own helmet back on.
“Yep,” Nally answered, sliding his arms around Jude’s waist.
Jude sucked in a breath at the feeling of Nally’s body wrapped around his and zoomed off from the station. The sun was shining, the thrum of the scooter’s engine sent happy vibrations through him, and even with the helmet, he swore he could smell Nally’s deodorant. It was perfect and wonderful. Everything was as it should be. He could just be in love without the cares and pressures of the world pressing?—
Jude nearly ran through a red light as the realization crashed into him harder than any of the cars around them could have. He was in love. That’s why he’d felt so miserable and anxious for the last few days. It wasn’t just silly puppy love, and neither was it lust born out of a long dry spell. Completely out of the blue and at the most innocuous and ordinary time possible, he realized he was head over heels in love with his best friend.
NINE
He was getting betterat this, at all of it. As Nally zipped through the streets of London with his arms around Jude’s body, holding on for dear life, he congratulated himself for getting so much better at pretending everything was normal and that his entire life, not to mention his heart, wasn’t balanced on a razor’s edge.
“Mr. Hawthorne, the orchestra is nearly ready for you,” the cheerful assistant, who seemed to be in charge of coordinating everyone in the magnificent old church, said only a short time after Nally and Jude arrived at LSO St. Luke’s.
Nally sent Jude a wide-eyed look, like being called “Mr. Hawthorne” was half joke, half honor, and completely unexpected.
“You’ll be even more famous than me before you know it,” Jude said, leaning in close to Nally and resting a hand on the small of his back as they followed the assistant into the heart of the massive recording space.
Jude’s subtle touch was like someone pressing fire against Nally’s back. Every bit of his focus shifted to his friend and the tension swirling around them. Everything Nally had said toGavin the other night rang loudly in his ears. He wanted Jude and that touch proved it, but he couldn’t risk history repeating itself and tearing him and Jude apart.
Paradoxically, having so much of his brain taken up with the bittersweet agony of catching feelings for his bestie meant that the uncertainty and fear Nally had been feeling about his skyrocketing career took a backseat as he was led up to the center of the massive recording hall, where the musicians of the London Symphony Orchestra were chatting with each other or getting in a bit of last-minute practice before the recording session began. He caught a few bars of his own music coming from the violinists who were working through some of the trickier bits and from one of the trumpets that blasted out one of the key leitmotifs for the piece they were about to record.
“Wow,” Jude said as he stopped by Nally’s side, finally letting his hand drop. “I’ve been saying all along that you’ve finally reached the pinnacle of the music world, but I was wrong until now. This is incredible.”
Nally shifted to face him. “I am finally starting to feel as if I can handle musical fame and accomplishment,” he said in a mock serious voice. “Donotpull that rug out from under my feet by pointing out how high I’ve climbed in such a short time.”
His lips twitched as he tried not to grin. Jude’s eyes shot straight to his mouth, which did nothing to help the fluttering feeling in his gut. Nor did it help when Jude glanced up again and met his eyes with pride and mischief shining in his own.
“Alright, then,” he said. “You’re amateurish at best, and this is all punching well above your pay grade.”
Nally snorted with laughter, especially because of the way Jude assumed his social media persona to deliver the insult. It was so close to the way things should have been between them, so close to normal. If he shut his heart down and ignored half the things that had happened between them lately, he could almostbelieve that they were back on ordinary footing and that they didn’t have a Sword of Damocles hanging over them, waiting to destroy their friendship forever.
“Ah, Mr. Hawthorne, it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you at last,” the LSO’s music director, Sir Antonio Pappano, said, coming forward to greet Nally.
Again, Nally sent Jude a wide-eyed look. Sir Antonio Pappano was musical royalty, and he was pleased to meet Nally?
“The pleasure is all mine, sir,” Nally said, shaking the man’s hand, eyes wide. He glanced back to Jude yet again.
“We’re ready to begin when you are,” Sir Antonio said. He, too, looked at Jude. “Your partner is more than welcome to listen in, as long as he stays quiet.”
“Oh, he’s not?—”
“Thank you, sir,” Jude cut Nally off, his eyes bright as he moved to shake Sir Antonio’s hand as well. “I’ll be as quiet as a church mouse, which is convenient, seeing as this is a church. Is it alright if I record a bit for social media?”
Nally’s throat squeezed, not because of Jude’s bold request, but because for the first time in their long history of people mistaking them for a couple, Jude hadn’t let him correct them.
Everything was changing, and Nally wasn’t certain he could keep up with it.
“There are copyright issues, of course,” Sir Antonio said with a frown. “No recording any moments where the orchestra is playing.”
“Of course, of course.” Jude nodded. He was well and truly in his persona as Jude the Obscure, which fit perfectly with their situation and surroundings. It also put the perfect barrier between all the things Nally suspected they were both feeling.
Something wasn’t right. Nally kept thinking that as Sir Antonio introduced him to the orchestra and the recording technicians came forward to explain what they would be doingduring that session. A fantastic grand piano had been set up at the front of the orchestra for Nally to play the solo bit of his composition, and as he took a seat to warm up, along with the rest of the musicians, techs swirled all around him, checking mics and adjusting sound levels.
The whole thing required Nally’s intense focus, but he still glanced up to check on Jude from time to time. Jude had his phone up and either was recording or had recorded things that he was now posting. At one point, Nally caught his face pinching into what he could only describe as fear. A second later, Jude glanced over at him, and when their eyes met, Jude’s fear dissolved into one hundred percent pure affection.
That scared the life out of Nally. They were already on a speeding track to a place that could destroy them, and there was nothing they could do about it now.
