In actuality, his heart sank as Jude strode away from him. He’d blown it. Something was stirring between the two of them that they should have dealt with, but instead of facing it, he was letting it get so big that whether they hooked up or not, it was going to destroy the best thing in his life.
A second after thinking that, he shook his head and mentally kicked himself. It was all in his head. His imagination wasrunning away with him. Both he and Jude had changed a lot since Timothy days. He really needed to get laid. That would solve everything.
Lucky for him, he spotted Gavin Martin standing near the refreshment table at just that moment. Better still, Gavin’s face lit up when he saw Nally and he waved.
Nally took a breath. He wasn’t really in the mood, but he needed to do this if he wanted to protect his friendship with Jude.
“You’re looking amazing tonight, mister famous film composer,” Gavin greeted him.
Nally laughed and lowered his head bashfully. “It’s all been a bit much,” he said. “I’m not used to the attention, and I’m not sure I like it.”
The fact that he was honestly spilling his feelings to someone who was just slightly more than an acquaintance was a good sign. Maybe all he really needed was to blow off some emotional steam.
“You deserve it, though,” Gavin said, talking loudly over the music. “I sawTo Serve Him, and the acting is good, but your score makes that film.”
Nally snorted and brushed away the compliment. He also peeked out into the room to see what Jude was up to. His gaze zipped straight to Jude, like he had some kind of homing beacon and knew precisely where his friend was at all times. Jude was standing with a group of hot guys, taking a selfie with them.
“You and Jude still hanging out?” Gavin asked.
Nally blinked, realizing he’d been giving his attention to the wrong person.
“Yeah, he’s my best friend,” Nally said. A best friend who had his brain filled with things it shouldn’t have been filled with. He turned back to Gavin and quickly asked, “Do you wanna dance?”
“Sure,” Gavin said, his smile inviting.
They headed out onto the raised dance floor, which was already filling with people. It was one of those dance floors with blocks of colored light that pulsed and flashed in patterns with the beat of the music. They felt a little bit like the bright, throbbing beats of Nally’s heart.
Nally tried his best to shove every other thought aside but dancing with Gavin. Gavin was an amazing dancer, which he knew from previous parties, and he was absolutely Nally’s type. He was in his thirties, confident and sure of himself, and kind as well as sexy. It should have been exactly what he needed to pull him out of his head, but even as they swayed and grinded together, Nally kept searching around him for Jude.
Jude who had moved from taking selfies with hot guys to dancing with a pair of guys dressed like Tom of Finland. He’d handed his phone over to someone who was filming the whole thing. He stopped mid-dance to pose luridly with the leather-clad guys, too.
“Your best friend, eh?” Gavin said, leaning close to Nally’s ear so he could be heard.
Nally didn’t know why that was the breaking point, but everything came bursting out.
“He is my best friend. He’s the most important person in my life. But everything has been so weird between us lately. I want him, like,wanthim, and I shouldn’t. It’ll ruin everything. Sex would ruin everything. It already did once. We had a third friend, Timothy, and when he and Jude started hooking up, it destroyed our group, ended my friendship and Jude’s with Timothy, and nearly broke me and Jude apart, too. But life has changed, I’m being pushed into fame, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. Things are changing so fast in my life, and I can’t keep up with it.”
Gavin stopped dancing. He had his hand on Nally’s hip, which Nally hadn’t noticed, but suddenly that point of contactfelt like Gavin was holding him to earth when he was about to explode and ricochet off the ceiling. “Let’s take a break,” he said.
Nally nodded and let Gavin lead him off the dance floor. He glanced over his shoulder to see what Jude was doing. Their eyes met, and for a split-second, Nally thought Jude was worried about him.
Gavin took him to a marginally quieter spot in the corner of the room, but still within view of Jude. “So you want to fuck your best friend,” Gavin said so bluntly that Nally jerked away from looking at Jude to stare at him with wide eyes. Gavin laughed. “I think we’ve all been there at some point.”
“I can’t,” Nally said. “It would destroy the best thing in my life.”
“Or, hear me out, it could take the best thing in your life and make it even better,” Gavin said.
Nally shook his head. “That’s not what happened before. We’ve already done this.”
“Timothy, did you say his name was?” Gavin asked. When Nally nodded, Gavin went on with, “I’m just going to assume, but you’re not Timothy and neither is Jude. You’re both your own people, different people. The story might play out differently if you take a chance.”
Nally shook his head harder. “I can’t risk it. Not when everything else around me is changing, too. I need something rock-solid that I can rely on.”
“And Jude is that rock?”
Nally nodded. “I can’t lose him.”
“Honey, I’ve been around the block a few times,” Gavin said. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you don’t take a chance and see what could be there, you might just lose him anyhow when someone else comes along to snap him up. Jude is a snack.”
