“I think that would be best,” Nally said.
It was definitely a good thing that he had his family to help him through everything. A light touch of fame shouldn’t have had him freaking out so much. Didn’t everyone want to be famous these days? He should have been grateful that his music was starting to reach a wider audience at his age. Most composers went their entire lives without so much as a nibble from anyone or anything half as big as what he was stepping into.
Although maybe that was the problem.
“I think there’s a reason fame usually comes when people are older,” he said, gripping the edge of the window on the passenger’s side of Ryan’s car as they zipped through the countryside to the train station. “No one as young as I am can handle this kind of pressure.” Except maybe Jude. Which was why he needed Jude. Heneededhim.
Ryan laughed, which was actually the right reaction to bring Nally out of his head. “First of all, that’s completely not true. Plenty of people achieve success at a young age. Secondly,” Nally turned to look at his brother instead of staring obsessively straight forward out the windshield, “you have an entire support system to get you through your big launch.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what I would do without Jude,” Nally said, staring out the front again. He could be honest about those feelings with his brother…to a point. “He’s been there for me every step of the way since the premiere, he set up all sorts of social media accounts for me, which he’s completely managing, because I could never handle that kind of stuff. And thank God, he’s going to meet me at the BBC studios to walk me through this whole thing.”
Ryan was silent for too long, so Nally turned to look at him. He wore a weird expression and rolled his eyes a bit when he shot a look Nally’s way. “I was talking about the family,” he said.
“Oh. Right. The family,” Nally’s face was so hot he thought he might be sick for a moment. “The family is great. We’re all incredibly lucky to be Hawthornes. I don’t think there’s any family in England or the world like us.”
He was rambling and he didn’t know why. He also didn’t know why he kept his mouth tightly shut for the last couple miles to the train station. It was almost like he was afraid of what confessions might come out if he let them. Or that he might puke.
Once Ryan dropped him off, Nally felt like he was drifting. He managed to buy a ticket and get on the train, but as it sped toward London, he was seized with the mad idea that he should just call off the interview, say no to all the offers coming his way, and retreat back to Hawthorne House, where he could live in swaddled peace with his eccentric family, pining for the career he might have had, and composing beautiful music that no one would hear. No one except Jude. He would be perfectly content if it was just the two of them forever.
Which was so weird and codependent of him.
To stop the freakish spiral of his thoughts, he pulled out his phone and fired off a text to Jude.
Majorly freaking out. Why did I say yes to a live interview?
It took only a few seconds for three dots to appear.
Stop freaking out. You’re going to be fine.
But what if I’m not? What if I shit myself in the middle of the interview?
It’s radio, no one will know.
I’ll know. You’ll know. The entire studio will stink because of me.
I’ll stop by Tesco and get some baby wipes, then.
Ha ha.
Seriously, you’ll be fine. They’re just going to ask you about your music. You love talking about your music.
I do love talking about my music.
Nally took a deep breath and sagged against the train window. Even with a few text messages, Jude always made him feel better.
This whole fame thing takes a lot of getting used to. I’m not sure I have the personality for it.
Sure you do. You’ve just spent your life so far wrapped in cotton-wool by your family.
Yeah, I guess.
Don’t worry, I’ll unwrap you.
Nally swallowed hard and stared at his phone. The idea of being unwrapped by Jude made him shift the way he was sitting and look around to make sure none of the other passengers were looking at him. His face was flushed again and his jeans had gone tight. It shouldn’t have been happening. Not with Jude.
Take a look at your socials. People are loving the content you’ve been putting up.
Jude’s new message was a relief. He took in a breath and refocused.
