Page 40 of You Can't Be Serious

Cons

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Can’t say my name or Appa’s without sounding like he’s at war with vowels and consonants.

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This royalty stuff is not for me. You just can’t be yourself, and I don’t know how to live with so many rules! How you sit, who you talk to, how you talk, photographers jumping out of bushes to snag a picture. It’s constricting. I feel something close around my throat whenever I’m around them.

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Too many exes, and all of them look like influencers posing for their next selfie. Like, seriously!

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Average kisser, I mean, I have zero recall. (I’ve had more chemistry with my toothbrush. Duh!)

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I’m willing to bet he has never experienced the heartbreak of a broken flip-flop.

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May own matching monogrammed towels with his initials. I didn’t ask. I just know.

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Calls his mom ‘Mother’ and dad ‘Father’. That’s a level of posh I’m not spiritually equipped for.