“I’m going to miss you when I go back to the States,” I said. “And it looks like that may be soon.”
He nodded. “Call me.”
13
“A SERIES OF BAD MISTAKES”
St.John’s is not a city with a lot of taxis, so after a futile exchange with my Lyft app, I just walked the twenty minutes to Paul’s house.
He opened the door and gave me a hug. “I am so sorry.” The words were muffled in my hair.
“It’s okay. We were just worried about you.”
“I sat her down and told her I was cutting her off. She’s not allowed to see me again. At all. And she wouldn’t leave, so I ended up calling the police. She left before they got there. She just wanted to see if I’d do it, I guess.”
“Oh, Paul, I’m so sorry.”
“She said some things at the end, that…about how she wished she’d never had a child, that I’d ruined her life.”
“She was just lashing out. You know that, right?”
He shrugged. “I’ll probably call her at Christmas, but until then…”
I gave him another hug. He kissed my hair. “Thank you for sticking with me through this.”
It was the moment. I didn’t want it to be. But I couldn’t not tell him.
“Paul,” I said. “I’ve—I just found out that I—I can’t work remotely anymore.”
“So that means…” His face was blank, which made it worse.
“Basically I’ve been ordered home. I have to go into the office on Monday. I have to fly back this weekend and show up at work or I get fired.”
“Oh.”
“And I know this is the worst time to do this. I don’t want to go.”
“Well, it will make it easier to see your sister in Atlanta, won’t it?” he said gently.
“She’s moving back, too. To New York. She just told me.”
He nodded, taking this in. “Okay,” he said, more to himself than to me.
I continued, “But that’s not why—it’s a change in policy. I’ve been working from home for two years. I didn’t know this was coming.”
“And you found out…”
“Monday. After we—after we spent the night. I should have told you right away. You were dealing with so much, and I wanted to get through tonight. It was important to Lisette that I do this, and I thought…I was scared to say it. I didn’t want it to be real. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said. He nodded and walked to his sofa and sat down.
I spoke quietly. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in years. Maybe ever.”
He shrugged.
“I mean it, Paul. And I’m really proud of you for standing up to your mother.”
He was silent again. Then he nodded. “Sorry,” he said. “I have this tendency to go quiet when I’m thinking. Trish used to complain about it.”
