The terror came back as Paul smiled at me. He knew that I was nervous, and he was enjoying it.
“I’m uh…” Scared, I thought.
“Scared?” Paul finished for me. “A New Yorker is scared?”
“I have no training in this, you know that.”
“You’ll be great,” Paul said.
“Or completely terrible, which is even better,” Mark added.
“Much funnier,” Lisette agreed. “Let’s start the scene, Paul.”
Paul stood up and began the next improv by walking to the shelf and looking at the books. Lisette walked up to him.
“I see you’re in our self-help section,” she said. “Looking for anything in particular?”
“I’m having trouble believing in myself. My friends really cut me down.” Again, it amused me how quickly they ran with whatever the other person gave them.
“Oh,” said Lisette, taking a book off the shelf. “Have you considered this one,All My Friends Hate Me, and I Probably Deserve It?”
“I read that one. It didn’t help.”
“How about,I Suck at Everything and My Friends Agree. It’s a new release.”
“I tried that one, too, but it was a little prescriptive,” Paul said.
“What about,Find Your Confidence through Crying Alone in Your Room.”
I stood up. I had an idea, out of nowhere.
“Maybe,” Paul replied to Lisette. “I do like to cry.”
I stepped forward and tapped Lisette on the shoulder and took her place, taking over her role in the scene. “That book worked wonders for me. I read it a couple of years ago and it changed my life. If you’d like me to show you some of the techniques…”
Paul grinned at me. “Please.”
“Step over to our seating area,” I said, noticing Lisette smiling at me from the corner of my eye. “Now I need some full-on body sobbing. We’re talking Matthew McConaughey inInterstellarweeping. I did this for two whole years after my last break-up and look at me now. Perfectly happy.”
“You do look happy.”
Paul took a seat and smiled at me.
“The key is to sob loudly enough that the neighbors complain.”
Paul sat in a corner and gave a good wail. I had a strange sense of elation.
“Louder!”
I didn’t know what was coming next, though, so I began to panic, but Paul caught my eye and smiled. “And if this doesn’t help?”
“You’ll get a partial refund on the book.”
Mark jumped into the scene as a new character. “Hey, this book aboutFinding Confidence through Crying Alone in Your Roomdidn’t work for me at all. I tried it, and I still have absolutely no faith in myself. I’d like my refund.”
I glared at him. “You were confident enough to ask for the refund, so it actually did work, didn’t it?”
“You’re right, I’m so sorry. What was I thinking?” Mark said, walking out of the scene.
