Breathing is hard. Thinking is hard. It’s true that I sense no danger, no panic. And it’s true that Astra’s magic is spectacular. So spectacular that even bloodpuppets have chased her. But she’s not calling for me right now, and I need to trust that she’s fine.
“Fair,” I concede. “I’ll wait. You should rest. Meanwhile, I’ll try to come up with a plan.”
Lidiane shakes her head. “You think I can sleep? No. And I agree. We need a plan. I’ll try to see if I can sense more about where they are.” She gives me a faint smile. “We’ll be ready to find them.”
“We will.”
In the morning. Just a few hours. An eternity of pain.
Astra, I’m coming for you.
TARLIA
Moths. Gigantic, dark moths.
Those are the things flying our carriage. I was trying to get a glimpse of the castle to see any sign of destruction, when my eyes caught the creatures carrying us. I’d never heard of anything like it, but when I’m sitting across from a fae who survived a beheading, nothing surprises me.
My heart aches in my hollow, empty chest when I think that the castle might self-destruct at any moment. Is there any chance Renel will survive? And Ziven was there too. I don’t want him to die either. It’s why I glance out the window, eager for a sign that Renel was wrong, that no disaster will happen, that everything will be all right. But dark clouds below and a starry sky around us can’t tell me what’s happening to the castle.
I turn back to the interior of the carriage and see Mirella looking out the window, her expression sad and pensive. She’s wearing a silver tiara contrasting with her black hair, as the true princess of the Crystal Court. There’s no denying that she’s beautiful, with a delicate face and big blue eyes, and yet her dress looks worn thin, old, the sewing parted in some areas. I don’t know what she’s been through, what she means byyears trapped in a strange nightmare, but something dreadful happened.
Everyone thought she was dead, but she survived. And now she just learned that she was the one responsible for her father’s death, when she pushed Marlak’s fire with her air magic. Iwonder if her thoughts are consumed with guilt or if she’s trying to find a way to shift the blame.
I notice then Zorwal watching me, astute eyes trying to glimpse under the surface, as if ripping out layers of my skin. The discomfort is nothing compared to the relief in knowing that he might still want something from me.
Be useful or be expendable.I still hear it in Otavio’s voice, part advice, but mostly a threat. But there’s wisdom in his words. As long as Zorwal needs me or believes he can use me, he’ll keep me alive.
When I made a deal with him, I thought I was being so smart.
Promise not to hurt me as long as I obey you,I said.And he agreed.
At that moment, when sheer panic clouded my mind, when Renel was dying in front of me, I thought my words meant I would be safe serving Zorwal. Right? All I had to do was obey Renel’s former master, as horrific as the idea of being bound might seem.
Now, hundreds of feet above the ground, I realize he could simply ask me to do something dangerous like opening the door and stepping outside while we fly. Quite easy to get rid of me.
And yet Zorwal healed Renel in exchange for my servitude bond. Logic tells me he wouldn’t do that just to kill me, but every part of my body shudders with the awareness that I’m not safe. I can feel it. And then there’s the fear that it was all for nothing, that Renel is dying right now, consumed by the fire devouring his castle. I still don’t regret trying, giving him a chance, clinging to a maniac, fear-fueled hope that there could be a way out. Crazy hope.
I look outside again, trying to see if there’s a crack, a tremor, anything telling me to stop hoping, but all I see are clouds illuminated by the moonlight, and I turn to the interior of the carriage.
Mirella is still pensive, her eyes looking somewhere far away, while Zorwal is scratching his chin, frowning as if worried. Odd.
Something shifted in his demeanor.
My heart is about to explode into thousands of painful pieces. Is it the castle? Was it destroyed? I want to ask, and at the same time want to delay the answer, want to stretch my hope as much as I can.
Still, the words come out before I stop them, and I blurt, “Did the castle move?”
“The castle?” Zorwal has an amused laugh. “Why? Do you fear it ended up in the Fiery Gorge? I’m afraid your dear lover was mistaken.”
Did Renel survive? Was my pointless act not so pointless after all? My heart stills in my chest. The world stills around me.
“The castle moved,” Mirella says. “I felt it.”
My entire body jolts, taken by a sudden burst of both fear and hope.
Zorwal rolls his eyes. “Indeed, but it’s not destroyed, as Renel predicted.”
Not. Destroyed.
