Azur huffs. “Let’s go.”
The ground before me disappears, and then I fall onto something. Wooden floorboards. Mirella pulls me up, a small smile lighting up her face.
I’m about to thank her, when she sees Marlak and runs to him, and they embrace. I notice that I’m in a large wooden house with two floors, then look at the siblings embracing again. Mirella has tears in her eyes, and so does Marlak.
I remember when we traveled to the Icy Lands, all his desperation to rescue her, his relief when he found out she was alive. At last, they’re reunited, after more than twelve years apart. It’s the kind of joy that’s contagious, that warms my heart and almost brings tears to my eyes.
And yet the old habit of observing, noticing, hasn’t left me, so I look at the room. Azur is looking at Lidiane, while most of the others stare at the pair of siblings with a similar emotion asmine. Then I notice Renel, his lips parted, a tear running down his face, but it’s not the same emotion.
It’s not joy, but it’s not anger either. It must be some deep, buried feeling that’s surfacing. He turns around and walks outside. I want to follow him, but hesitate. Indeed I see Tarlia walking outside, and decide she’ll probably be a better person to talk to him.
For so many years I wished I had siblings, a bigger family, but the truth is that a family can be quite thorny and complicated.
RENEL
Of course I’m happy Mirella’s back. I’m happy she’s been reunited with her beloved brother. And yet.
For a second, I’m a child again, feeling like there’s a glass between me and my brother. I can see through it, but he doesn’t see me. I can call him, but he can’t hear me. I’m invisible. Silenced. Forgotten.
I walk outside the house, and for some reason the memory that comes to me is my mother, always telling me that I was just as special as Marlak. Just as special as anyone. But she’s gone, and thinking about her opens that old hole that always wants to devour me.
Special was not something I ever felt like, and I don’t know if I even wanted that. But it’s not that I wasn’t special, but that I was less than special, the other, the forgotten one, or the hurdle.
The king favored my brother and cast me aside, but I hated that king anyway. What hurt was to seemy brothercasting me aside. It shouldn’t hurt anymore, when I spent years sitting onthe throne that should be his. My share of revenge should have filled the void—except that it never did. If anything, it only dug an even deeper hole.
I take a deep breath and look around. The outside of this house has a garden encircled by stones, some of them warded. Meanwhile, the ocean roars not far from here, while my head buzzes. I’m such an idiot. Why should I care if Marlak and Mirella adore each other while they hate me? Do I even like them?
“Renel.”
I turn and see Tarlia looking at me, so insanely beautiful under the stars, lit only by the faint glow of the moon. Now my tears feel truly ridiculous, and I chuckle. “Dust can get in the eyes, you know?”
She approaches me and places a calming hand on my arm. “It does. It’s why it’s good to shed some tears and get rid of some old dust.”
At least she makes me smile. Why should I even care about what Marlak thinks?
The door of the house opens, and I scowl wondering why my brother decided to follow me. But it’s not him—it’s worse.
I huff. “Oh, leave me.”
Azur walks toward us, wearing what looks like a brand new black hat. “Are you all right?”
“The ghouls didn’t kill me, so I’m great.”
Tarlia squeezes my hand and says, “I’ll go inside.”
She runs in before I can ask her to stay, leaving me here alone with Azur.
I glare at him. “What do you want?”
“I…” He presses his lips together and looks down. “You asked me to bring her.”
Mirella, he means. I’m not even sure why he’s mentioning that. “I said she helped rescue Tarlia, and it’s true.” I’m tiredof avoiding saying things, skirting around and around stuffed words, and decide to be direct. “I don’t need your pity, and you don’t have to be upset on my behalf.”
He raises an eyebrow. “It’s not… being upset on your behalf. It’s recognizing cruelty.”
“It doesn’t even make sense. If you hate me. You should rejoice in seeing people being cruel to me.”
“I don’t hate you. I hated our bond. Perhaps hated the way you ruled, how you always bent over for Zorwal. But I don’t hate you. I think, in your way, you truly believed we were friends.”
