“What’s wrong? You don’t think the magic of the heart can set us free?”
“I… think it could.” He’s almost stuttering, and he’s making me anxious.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Magical objects, or organs, or… something, they have a different conception of time. I don’t think it’s going to nap for ten minutes, Astra.”
“We can wait. Hang on.” At once, I understand the problem. “It could be days. Months. Years.”
He nods slowly, and I swallow. No. I will not give up.
“There must be a way out,” I say, making my best effort to sound cheerful.
“We’ll have a lot of time to figure it out.”
“I suppose.”
I close my eyes. We’ll starve to death if we stay here for days.
“You know,” he says. “When I got back to the island house, I told you I had found my dignity, but I was wrong. Now I see it.”
Somehow, I’m glad for the change in subject, for the chance to think about something other than my impending starvation. “What do you think you found?”
“Pride. Inflated, pointless pride. Why did I push Ferer away? To punish him for having pushed me away? And yet I was hurting myself. I could have apologized, you know? Now, if we survive?—”
“We will. Don’t even doubt it.”
He looks down and shakes his head. “I’m fae, Astra. I can’t say thatwe willsurvive. I can only hope. And I hope I see Ferer again. I won’t be an idiot this time.”
“So let me speak for us both. Youwillsee him. I won’t let pessimism take over our thoughts. We’ll find a way.”
Nelsin smiles, his eyes distant, perhaps imagining seeing Ferer again.
My thoughts turn to the Almighty Mother and her light. I feel her within me, can even feel her protection, and yet I get no answer on how to escape this place.
I reach to my husband, reach through that bond that has kept us together, that bond that joined our dreams. I reach and reach.
And get nothing.
It’s as if the bond had been cut.
TARLIA
I’m looking at Renel, trying to understand if what Ziven told me is true, if Renel really said he’d rather have his eye poked out than leave me with Zorwal. We were left alone in this library and it feels smaller than before, the walls closing in on us as my heart beats wildly.
Renel’s eyebrows crease and he runs a finger over his bracelets. “It was fair, wasn’t it? You made a deal with Zorwal to save my life. I owed you your freedom.”
So it was just duty. His words are slightly disappointing, and I hope he doesn’t notice my reaction.
“Makes sense.” My body is still, a chill creeping up my spine as I battle with the urge to ask him more questions and the will to stay quiet.
Slowly, his chest moves up and down as he lifts his eyes to me. “But it hurt to know you could be suffering. It did hurt.”
He eyes me like that, and I want to run, hide. I wish I had bracelets to fiddle with, to find some escape from the suffocating feeling. This feeling… So many questions. All I do is smile. “I justwanted to save your life. It was… the right thing to do. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“No. Of course not. I just…” He steps away from the door, shortening the distance between us. “I need to ask you a question, Tar.”
I don’t know if he’s being sarcastic using the nickname, but even then, the memory of when he said it lovingly is like a splinter pricking my heart. “What?”
