“I’m not sure I ever can.”
He walks right over to me, shirtless and all, and gently grabs my chin and makes me look him in the eye. There’s no hiding when it comes to Luca. “You’re shy around me. Around men. I need to help you get over that.”
“By spanking me again?” I mutter before I can stop myself.
Luca arches his brow. “Attitude, Nina. I don’t like it.”
“Sorry.” His disappointment hurts. I’ve never cared about pleasing people before. It’s why I went along with Susanna so much. But now, for some odd reason, I care what Luca thinks of me. And because of him, I don’t want to be my sister. I want to be better.
“I won’t spank you right away again. I’m sure your ass is hurting from earlier today. In fact, I should take a look at it. Make sure I didn’t hurt you too much.”
“Take a look at it?” I ask, breathless.
“Yes. Get on the bed.”
“Are you going to… touch me?” Am I ready for that? Will I ever be ready for that? It’s not like I have any hang-ups about sex. I wasn’t taught that having sex was a sin but I was taught that a good mafia girl waits for marriage. It’s more that I just don’t know how to act around Luca. I’ve never been in this position before in my entire life.
“I just want to look at you. Now, do as I say.” His tone isn’t hard. There’s a softness to it that tells me he’s not scolding me. He seems to want to make sure I’m all right.
“I don’t know if I can do what you want me to do.”
“You’re not sure you can be the wife I want? Have you even tried, Nina?”
“No,” I admit.
“Then try.”
He’s right. Luca is my husband now. My new life. My future. I have to try with him. I’ve never given any effort to anyone before in my life.
Well, there’s a first time for everything.
With a shaky breath, I go over to the bed and lower myself onto my stomach. I can sense Luca behind me. His strong presence. The dark aura he gives off. It makes me shiver and tremble and he hasn’t even done anything yet.
His touch hurt me earlier when he spanked me. But it also calmed me in a strange way.
Now, when I feel Luca gently touch the end of my nightgown, I don’t move away. I hold still to see what his touch will be like this time.
He pushes my nightgown up and pulls my underwear down. This time, I’m not panicking like I was. No. This time, I feel the smallest amount of heat making its way up my body and settling between my legs.
That’s when Luca places his hands on my backside. He doesn’t spank me. Instead, he just holds his hands there, not moving or squeezing. Just… there.
The heat that settles between my legs moves over my entire body. I have to resist the urge to arch my back and move my hips closer to his hands. I’ve never been given the chance to be around many men in my life to know what I should be feeling but I know enough to know that Luca makes me feel things. Dark things. Exciting things.
He is undeniably handsome, which helps. The longer his hands touch my backside, the more I realize I want him to touch me.
But Luca expects a lot from me. He wants to control my life to make me into the perfect wife for him. Can I be that? Can I give in to him completely and surrender?
I’m not sure I can.
After a long moment, he removes his hands from my backside. “You’re not hurt. You won’t even bruise.”
His hands settle on my upper thighs. A gasp escapes me.
“You have a beautiful body, Nina. I don’t want you to ever be ashamed of it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. All I can think of is the memories when Susanna would criticize my body. When she would point out every little flaw. It would make me so angry that I would point out all of her flaws. And on and on and on we’d go.
But with Luca, this is my chance to get past all of that. To be more than that.
