He points toward a direction deeper in the woods. I get up and run that way. The howls of wild animals echo behind me. I was running to find Matleon, but now I’m running to save myself.
My foot strikes something, and I fall hard. But it isn’t a fallen tree trunk.It’s Matleon.He’s lying there in a pool of blood.
I cry out his name, crawling to him, holding his face in my shaking hands.
“Matleon.”
He doesn’t respond.
“No,” I cry, collapsing onto his chest, calling his name again and again. He can’t die.
It hurts too much.
My chest aches, a pain I’ve never felt before and never want to feel again.
“Please, Matleon.”
“Kroshka.”
“Kroshka.”
I jerk upright. Nana is watching me with worry etched across her face. She wipes my tears with her thumb.
“You were in a bad dream,” she says softly.
“Nana,I’m afraid to lose him.”
She smiles gently. “We always fear losing the ones we love.”
The doorbell rings in Nana’s cottage. I get up, my legs are unsteady. I walk to the door, and open it.
Matleon.
He’s standing in front of me with a look in his eyes I’ve only ever seen twice before: the first time when he saved me in that club, the second the day before our wedding. But today, it isn’t just a glimpse. There’s so much longing in it that it presses on my heart, heavy and unrelenting.
I grip the door tightly, anchoring myself so I don’t break and run into his arms.What’s holding me back?I don’t know. Maybe fear.The fear of losing myself again.
Dark circles sit beneath his eyes, exhaustion dulling every sharp edge of his face. I’ve always known him as unbreakable. I was always biased in every fight and disagreement we had, because to me, it was impossible to defeat him. And today, as he stands in front of me like this,I don’t feel victorious.
I want to see that man again—who believes he can have anything he wants.I don’t want my husband to lose.
Matleon
I take a small step toward her, silently pleading to whatever god is listening to let me touch her, to let me hold her. I lift my hand and brush the wet corner of her puffy eye.Was she crying? Was it because Avi or Wen told her that I was coming to see her?My heart clenches even tighter.
Her mother told me she was here and asked me to hurry before her father returned. Because right now, my father-in-law hates me. And he has every right to. For what I did to his precious daughter, whom he kept away from every kind of sorrow.
“Were you crying again because of me, Angel?” I don’t recognize my own voice. It’s rough, unsure, stripped of the authority I usually command so easily.
When she doesn’t pull away and only stares at me with teary eyes, I cup her cheeks with both hands. “Is it because you think I’ll force you to come with me again?” I murmur, leaning closer.
She shakes her head. With a single blink, the tears spill over, sliding onto my hands.
“I’m not here to force you,” I say softly. “Can I stay here for a few days?”
She nods.
Zo forced me to come here, and I can’t thank him enough now that I’m finally seeing her.I was afraid she would push me away, demand that I leave because she wanted distance from me. But she does nothing of the sort.
