We start walking. I debate with myself for five minutes over how I should walk with her. One part of me wants to take her hand in mine, while the other, wary of making her even more pissed, insists on keeping my distance. The latter wins.
“Will you not tell me why you are mad at me?”
She glances toward me. “We are not in the kind of relationship where we care about these things.”
“That’s what you think, Angel. And this thinking is wrong. I care about everything related to you.”
She pauses for a step, but continues walking. “What do you care about?”
“I care about your happiness, your comfort, your discomfort—everything.”
“You forced me into this marriage, and now you’re saying you care about my happiness.”
“Can we skip this part? Can’t we try to make this marriage work?” I ask.
We’ve entered the forest area. She pauses and looks at me. “That’s not how things work.”
“Then tell me how they work.”
“A couple needs to be on the same page for their relationship to work. We’re not even in the same book.” She frowns.
I stare at her for a minute, then speak. “I’ll tell you where I am. You tell me where you are.”
“Okay. Go on.”
I lean against a tree behind me. “I want to make this marriage work. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms. I want to see you every evening after coming home from the work. I want to spend my holidays doing things with you. This is where I am.”
She watches me with slightly parted lips, then looks away. After another minute, she speaks in her soft voice. “I’m trying to avoid you the whole day. Planning to make you divorce me. I think that says pretty much everything.”
My chest feels tight, like my ribs are contracting. “Why, Angel? Can’t I do anything to make you forgive me?” I sound pleading, and it’s not by mistake.
She looks down. “What do you know about loving someone, Matleon?” she mutters.
I close the gap between us by pulling her between my legs. With me leaning against the tree, she is not much below my eye level. “I don’t know anything about it, but I know one thing,I need you in my life,” I mutter. “There is no other way around.”
She watches me with sad eyes. “You want me today, but once you’re bored with me, you will throw me away.”
I frown and grip her chin. “There is nothing like that going to happen. First of all, tell me why you think like this.”
“What we have between us is just physical attraction,” she mutters.
“Yes, it is there. I would love to fuck your sweet pussy, and I could do that three times a day, but that’s not the only thing I want. I told you this before, and I’ll repeat it again. It’s more than just physical, Angel. It started with your shy smiles, and it will end at nothing.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“How can you be so sure that you need oxygen to breathe?” I ask, pulling her closer.
She purses her lips. “It’s biology.”
“Then it’s my biology. I need you, not only because you have a pussy I want to fuck. I can’t explain it in very sophisticated words, but it’s here.” I press my hand over my chest. “It needs you.”
“You’re being romantic again.” She rolls her eyes, but they’re more playful than irritated.
I know a lot of things are not clear between us. We need her will to have this relationship with me to make them clear. The absence of it is making my breathing difficult.Can’t I somehow make this woman understand how much I fucking need her?
I hold her cheeks, drawing her face to mine, and kiss her slightly parted lips, slowly and deeply. She doesn’t pull away, and that alone revives my sinking hope. I’m like a mandrowning, clutching even the smallest stick. It’s illogical, well, whatever. I’m in a better mood.
I pull back and stare at her beautiful face, feeling her hot breaths on mine, her eyes that aren’t holding the hurt and sadness. And I kiss her again.
