She sits on her bed, picking up her yellow bear. Her lips curve into a faint smile. “It feels like I never left this room.”
Then she sets the bear down and rises. “But I’ll sleep in your room.”
My jaw tenses. I force myself to shake my head in a firm no. I can’t let her sleep near me. Not when all I want is to consume her.
“Okay,” she murmurs, her voice dimming with hurt.
Now this, this is what I can’t deal with. If she looks at me with those glassy, heartbroken eyes, how the fuck am I supposed to refuse her?
I move closer and run my hand through her silky hair. “Good night, Dove.”
She blinks at me. “I really can’t sleep in your room?”
I look toward the wall behind her, forcing myself to recall all the reasons I need to keep her at a distance.
“Just for tonight,” I finally concede. No reason is strong enough to let me see her sad.
She grins, and only now do I realize how much I’ve missed her smile. Watching her sink deeper into depression for so long has been killing me in the most excruciating way.
When I come out of the shower, dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt, I find her lying on her stomach, moving her face from one pillow to another, burying into each. I watch her repeat the act a few more times.
“What are you doing?”
Her head jerks up, a pink shade painting her cheeks. “Are you human or a ghost, Zoan? Why don’t you ever make a sound?”
She rolls onto her back, settling in the center of the bed.
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
I sit on the edge of the bed, watching the redness deepen on her skin. Then I lie down beside her, facing her. She hasn’t left much space between us.
“Your pillows smell nice,” she whispers with a shy smile.
“How are you feeling?”
She shifts closer to me and wraps her arms around me. “Very good.”
My body stiffens as what is in front of my eyes merges with the images behind them. She is in my bed, lying beside me, hugging me. And now, the part of me I have never won control over is feeding me images of what I could do to her. Her soft body is pressed so close. I clench my fist at my side, fighting the urge to reach out and touch her.
But then she moves even closer, snuggling her face into my chest.
I rise from the bed so fast that in the next heartbeat I’m standing on the floor.
She stares at me, shock and confusion written across her delicate features.
“I have some work. You go to sleep.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but I turn away before she can utter a word. I leave the room as fast as I can.
Pressing my back against the closed door, I drag a hand through my hair. I need a fucking cold shower. Again.
When I finally return to my room past midnight, I find her fast asleep. One pillow is pressed against her face and chest, another tucked behind her, a third clutched between her creamy thighs. She’s wearing shorts that have ridden up, baring the long length of her legs.
I thought her uncovered body wouldn’t affect me much, I’ve been watching her for so long through the cameras, but I was completely wrong. What I see on a screen is nothing compared to what I’m seeing now. I could block the thoughts when it was just pixels and distance. But now, with her here in flesh and blood, it’s impossible.
A cool breeze drifts in from the open window, making her curl even tighter around those damned pillows. I reach for the quilt and drape it over her frame.
Then I lower myself to the floor, my back pressed against the side of the bed. Resting my elbow on the edge, I support my head with my hand and let my eyes drink in her breathtaking features.
