I nod. “That suits better, considering I still have some traces of my past life as a she-wolf inside me. We were wolves then, it’s decided.”
He watches me babbling with a smile. And when I stop, his lips meet mine in a kiss so devastatingly intoxicating it feels like he has been waiting for a century to kiss me. And I’m no different.
He pulls his head up when I go breathless, and he isn’t even slightly out of breath.
“I want to make you breathless.”
He chuckles. “It’s not possible.”
“Why?”
“I’m trained to hold my breath for fifteen minutes. How will you make me breathless?”
He lays down on his side and pulls me on top of him.
I touch the spikes of his trimmed beard on his jaw with my finger. “Why did you train so much?”
“At first, I wanted to become strong because I hated being weak and helpless.”
“Then?”
He lets out a long drag of breath. “Then I realized I was rescued very late. The darkness had already consumed me. Destruction was the only thing I was capable of. So I trained my mind to make the darkness my weapon instead of becoming its slave. And that required a very strong body.”
I lift my face to watch him more clearly. “What happens when you lose control over it?”
“I kill.”
“Who?”
“I feel the need to kill everyone, destroy everything. But I use a sniper in that state. That helps me stay sane. It demands too much focus and attention. It keeps me busy until I regain my control again.”
I sigh, putting my head back into the crook of his neck. “It’s scary.”
He chuckles. “It’s not an everyday occurrence when I lose control.”
“When does that happen?” I ask, with closed eyes and a dizzy mind.
“When I feel fear or helplessness.”
“What do you fear?” I mumble, half-asleep.
“Losing you.”
chapter 41
Zloban
The tires screech as I cut across the finish line, smoke curling off the track. I slow the car to a crawl and pull into the pit lane. I park the car, shut off the engine, and step out.
My pulse pounds like it’s chasing the next lap. The roar of the engines still echoes in my bones. The world outside the track always feels too slow. My gloves are still warm, my shoulders still tense, and my mind is relaxed yet alert at the same time. This is the state of mind for which I race. The first time I participated, it was just to advertise Leo’s car. After that, it became a sport ofrelaxation for me.
I start walking, my men surrounding me.
Just beyond the barricade, I spot the woman whose mere sight is my highest high. I wasn’t planning to accept this race, but she had insisted on seeing the party, and not only that, she demanded to stay in the crowd. The level of security her demands required is enormous.
When she spots me, the grin that has been my source of happiness since I first knew happiness lights up her face. She comes running toward me, the unit that has been guarding her up close in civilian clothes following behind.
The noise of the crowd shouting my name is deafening. This is the first time I’ve stopped immediately after a race. I catch her in my arms, inhaling her sweet scent.
