“Ouch,” I whimper, wrapping my arms around his leg for something to hold on to as he spanks me hard and fast, making me forget almost immediately that we’re not alone.
“I warned you, Little girl,” he scolds.
I try to kick. To fight. To wiggle free of his vise-like grip. But he doesn’t let me. He holds me against him, forcing me to take the punishment I earned. He did warn me, and I ignored it. Because, for some messed-up reason, I need to feel Hawk’s authority often. It’s like a love language to me.
Tears prick at my eyes, and my throat gets tight, the burning sensation on my bottom spreading through my entire body. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t slow down. Not yet. He knows I need this. I think it fulfills something for him, too.
Unable to hold it back any longer, a sob breaks free, and as soon as it does, he slows his swats.
“Are you going to be a good girl and eat your food?” he asks.
Bobbing my head, I let my tears fall to the floor. “Yes, Daddy,” I sob. “I promise.”
He spanks me sharply on one cheek and then the other, making me yelp with each one before he pulls me up to sit on the same thigh he just had me bent over.
Using a napkin, Hawk wipes my eyes and face, then holds it up to my nose and forces me to blow. I curl into him, hiding my face from everyone else while he snuggles me against his chest.
“I got you, baby,” he murmurs, running his big hand over my back. “I got you.”
He doesn’t rush me or tell me to calm down. Instead, he lets me stay cuddled into him while I cry. Once I’m quiet, he holds a bite of mashed potatoes to my mouth. They’re hot, like someone reheated them for me, and that makes me feel terrible for making someone else have to take care of me, but I also feel loved, so I decide not to think about it too much and just be thankful.
Slowly, Hawk feeds me, bite by bite, until everything is gone from my plate.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I say after I finish. “I didn’t mean it when I said you were on the naughty list.”
My husband grunts, his jaw set firm. “I know, baby. Besides, the jolly bastard wouldn’t dare.”
His words catch me off guard, and it takes me a second before I burst out giggling. Hawk smirks, and I swear, I actually swoon.
“I love you,” I tell him, still trying to contain my laughter.
“I love you, too,” he answers quietly, his expression serious again. “Forever and always.”
11
BEAU AND EMMA
Beau
Emma has used the toilet each time she’s needed to go to the bathroom; other than that, she’s been soaking up all the extra attention I’ve been giving her. I like it, too. It’s making me feel more needed and in control, which makes me more relaxed. It’s fucked up, and I know it, but neither my brothers nor I has ever pretended to have it all together.
Cinnamon does her sideways Pit-sit between my legs, leaning her entire body against me as we both watch Emma crowd around the Christmas tree with the other girls. I absentmindedly stroke her fur while listening to the surrounding noise. It’s loud and chaotic, but I love every second.
Hawk’s dog, Daisy, gallops through the living room, chasing Tinsel as the cat races ahead. It’s funny because they do this all the time. Daisy and Tinsel will end up snuggling together at some point. Who knew dogs and cats could actually be friends?
Emma holds a strand of metallic garland and dances around to the Christmas music.
When she spins around and catches my eye, I smile and beckon her with my finger. She grins and hops over to me, bending down to kiss the top of Cinnamon’s head before she kisses me.
“Turn around,” I command gently.
It takes a second before she understands what I’m about to do, and her cheeks instantly turn pink, but she slowly obeys. When her back is to me, I reach out and lift the back of her nightie, exposing her white and pink diaper. Even though I already know she’s dry, I pat her bottom like I’m checking.
“Good girl.” I take her hand and turn her to face me again so I can check in on her. Her pupils are big as she tries to avoid eye contact with anyone, and her cheeks are pink, but otherwise, my girl looks like she’s doing just fine. “You may go back to playing now.”
She peeks at me from under her lashes, and when she does, I give her a wink and squeeze her hand to reassure her even more. A small smile pulls at her lips, and then she twirls around and skips back to the enormous tree we somehow dragged into the lodge.
“How do you think she’s doing with all of this?” Hawk asks from where he’s sitting at the opposite end of this couch.
