I turned my head aside. “Please go, Joe. Please.”
He kissed my cheek and released me. I turned my back to him and folded my arms around myself. Tears flowed down my cheeks despite my tightly shut eyes.
I heard the screen door open, then close.
“Good-bye, Addie,” I heard him say in a low voice. “I’ll always love you.”
29
matt
So tomorrow’s the big night,” Jillian said.
She’d just dropped the girls off from ballet lessons, and they were thundering up the stairs behind me. I stood at the front door, trying to block Jillian from coming in. Hope was upstairs painting and I was eager to rejoin her. I’d gotten home from work early today, and Hope had been telling me the latest installment of her grandmother’s tale.
“Tomorrow?” I echoed blankly, not sure what Jillian was referring to.
She nodded. “The fete.”
“Oh, yeah.” I’d bought tickets from Jillian three weeks ago—an entire table, because it was a good cause and Jillian was on the organizing committee. In the few days since I’d invited Hope, I’d been looking forward to my date with her like a teenager anticipating the prom.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to meet you there,” Jillian was saying, “because I have to go early to help with the setup. But I’m catching a ride with Annie, so you and I won’t be in separate cars at the end.”
“Wait.” I pulled my brows together. My thoughts had been wandering upstairs, and I figured I must have missed something. “So... you’re saying you’ll need a ride home afterward?”
Her head tilted at a weird angle and she looked at me funny. “Of course, since we’re going together.”
I stared at her, confused.
Her forehead creased in consternation. “I invited you to be my date.”
A pit opened in my stomach area. “Oh, God. You thought...” I ran a hand across my jaw. The hurt in her eyes made it hard to look at her. “I, uh... I thought you just wanted me to come and support the cause.”
I could see she was trying to smile. The effort she put into tugging her mouth into that uneven, wobbly curve made me feel like the lowest kind of vermin. “Well, yes, of course. And it was generous of you to buy a whole table. But... I specifically invited you to be with me.”
“Oh.” I shifted my stance and wished I could somehow disappear. “Well, the thing is...” Oh, man—this was brutal. This moment belonged in the Painfully Awkward Hall of Fame. I raked both hands through my hair, shoved them in my pants pockets, and racked my mind for something not too awful to say. “The thing is, I misunderstood. You’re family, so I wasn’t thinking of you...”
.. . that way.I never had. Surely she could get the drift.
“There’s a first time for everything,” she said in what I imagined was her cheerful, elementary-school-teacher voice.
“The thing is,” I continued, “I’ve, uh, invited Hope.”
She rocked back on the heels of her flats, as if she’d taken a blow. After a horrid moment of silence, she lifted her chin. “But I asked you. When someone invites you to something, you don’t just invite someone else along.”
“I—I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.” I swallowed, looked away, then glanced back. My ears were burning, which meant they probably looked like someone had boxed them. I wished someone had; I deserved to have my ears boxed. “I misunderstood. I didn’t know it was a...”Aw, hell. Better not use the d-word!“... a specific invitation. I thought you were just asking for me to participate anddonate like you were asking everyone else.” I shifted uneasily. “It’s not like we’re seeing each other.”
“Maybe you’re not ready to start dating again yet,” Jillian said carefully.
For the first time since Christine’s death, I was sure I was, but I didn’t want to rub salt in her wounds. I lifted my shoulders. “Look, I’m really sorry. You’re welcome to join us at our table. And if you need a ride home, Hope and I can give you one.”
Tears gleamed in her eyes. She put up her hands, palms out. “No. No need. I’ll just take my own car.”
She turned and headed to her car, walking stiffly. With a heavy heart, I closed the door.
I found both girls upstairs with Hope, excitedly telling her about their day. Hope took one look at my face, gave me a worried little frown, then turned to the girls. “Zoey, Sophie—do you have any artwork from school you can show me?”
“Yes!” they both exclaimed.
