“Are you all right?”
“Yes, Father.”
“I have to say, this comes as a quite a surprise—especially considering the things you said last time you were home.”
I swallowed hard. Part of me wanted to tell him the truth, but a bigger part knew it would just break his heart. Besides, apparently Joe hadn’t gotten around to writing him a letter. Marge had flat out told me that Joe might have lost the matrimonial urge once he got a little time and distance. According to her, it was more common than not for a woman to think a relationship was more serious than it was, and for men to get cold feet.
In any event, I needed everyone to think the baby was Charlie’s. “That... didn’t work out. And I realized I’ve always loved Charlie.”
“I see.”
I didn’t think he did, but neither of us wanted to get into it. Better to just let it fade away.
The party ended at midnight, and we went home with Charlie’s parents. We all had to share a bathroom. Charlie’s bedroom was directly across the hall from his parents.
As we settled into his childhood bed, he reached for me.
I pulled away. “I can’t, Charlie,” I whispered. “Not with them so close.”
“But you’re my wife. It’s okay.”
“No. Not here.”
That was all the incentive he needed to find us a house. He located one the very next day. It was small, but it had everything we needed. His mother offered to buy us furniture.
Shopping with her was a nightmare. I wanted sleek and modern, and she was into reproduction Victorian. Charlie worked for his father, so his parents, in effect, held our purse strings. This was my first experience butting heads with Virginia.
She finally just sighed. “Well, pick out what you like, then, dear. I’m sure Charlie will get used to it.”
To compromise, I let her pick out the bedroom furniture. It was a horror show in there, anyway; why not have furniture to match? I selected the living room furniture and the kitchen table. The rest of the house was furnished with hand-me-downs or heirlooms, depending on how you wanted to look at it.
We moved in three days later. I made a pot roast, and Charlie bought a bottle of wine. When we sat down at our new table, he raised his glass. “To wonderful beginnings with my new bride.”
I was too nauseous to eat. But the wine seemed to give him courage, and the single glass I drank eased my queasiness.
“I love you so much, Addie,” he said later as we climbed into our new bed. “Do you think you could find it in your heart to love me just a little?”
“I’ve always loved you,” I said. “You know that.”
“I mean like a wife loves a husband.”
I couldn’t find it in my heart to lie. “I want to be a good wife to you, Charlie. Sometimes it just takes a little while for a man and woman to get in sync.”
“Apparently you didn’t have that problem with Joe.”
I pulled away. “You promised me you wouldn’t bring that up.”
“I’m sorry. I just...” He’d untied the bow on my nightgown. “Oh, Addie, I just love you so.”
He tried to please me, but I just wasn’t feeling it. As the weeks went on, I grew to dread the nightly encounters.
Virginia gave me a gift-wrapped book and told me to open itwhen I was alone. It was calledA Woman’s Guide to Marriage. It talked about how I should serve my husband and try to please him “in every possible way.” I was mortified.
“What on earth did you say to your mother?” I demanded when Charlie got home that evening.
“Nothing.”
“You must have. Why else would she give me this book?” I’d waved it in front of him.
