“I, uh, was waiting until I got through the first trimester to say anything outside the single parent group,” I tell her.
“What’s goin’ on, Donor Daddy?” Lily pats Zack’s face. “I don’ understand.”
“I don’t, either,” Jessica says.
Annie steps forward and holds out her arms to Lily. “This is a grown-up conversation, Lily. Why don’t you come with me?”
“But I jus’ learned he’s my donor daddy, an’ we haven’ even had cake!”
“We need to go find some ice cream to go with it,” Annie says.
“That’s right, Lily,” I manage.
Lily looks at Zack. “Will you go with me?”
“He needs to be here for the grown-up talk,” Annie says.
Zack gently places Lily on the floor. “Go with her, Lily-kins. I’ll be here when you come back.”
“An’ you’ll still be my daddy?”
“Yes.”
“Crotch your heart?”
Her mangled phrasing used to make Brooke and me collapse with laughter. Brooke had declared it too adorable to correct.
Zack gives Lily a little smile. “Yeah.”
“You have to say it.”
“I cross my heart.” He makes an X on his chest.
“Okay.” Lily takes Annie’s extended hand.
“Thank you,” I whisper as Annie leads Lily from the room.
The door closes with a soft click behind them. There’s a moment of breath-holding silence.
“So what’s going on?” Jessica asks. She gives a tremulous smile, as if she’s trying to keep it together, but there’s a razor-like edge to her voice. She looks at Zack.
“I—I honestly don’t know,” he says.
He and everyone else are staring at me. “You’re pregnant?” Margaret asks.
I sink down on the chair beside her bed. It’s easier to talk to her than to Zack or his tightly wound wife. Besides, Margaret has more of a right to know; she didn’t sign any papers with a fertility center surrendering all claim to any donation-created children.
“Yes, I’m pregnant. It’s very early, though.”
“Did—did Brooke know?” Margaret asks.
I nod. “It was kind of her idea.” I pluck at Margaret’s blanket, because it’s easier than looking at anyone’s face. “I told Brooke that I’d consider being a single parent myself if I knew I’d have a child as wonderful as Lily, and she said, ‘You can. I bought the entire supply from Lily’s donor, and the cryobank is keeping it frozen for me for another five years. I’ll give it to you.’”
I draw in a deep breath. Margaret’s gaze is riveted on me. Her mouth is no longer hanging open, but her face is pale and her eyes are enormous. I figure the best thing to do is to keep talking. “Brooke checked it out with the cryobank and verified that thecontract allowed for a transfer. The only requirement was that reporting procedures had to be followed. I needed to be artificially inseminated at a doctor’s office, and the doctor needed to comply with the reporting requirements. So Brooke signed over the remaining donation, and I arranged for it to be sent to my ob-gyn. I was inseminated a couple of days before Brooke died.”
I pause. “I didn’t find out I was pregnant until after she was gone. I shared the news with my single parent group, but I didn’t tell you, Miss Margaret, because I wanted to wait until I was safely through the first trimester. My obstetrician said up to twenty-five percent of pregnancies don’t make it past the first twelve weeks, and I didn’t want you or Lily to have to deal with another loss.”
“You didn’t know?” Jessica is looking at Zack.
