“You can text or call me anytime.” He pauses a moment. “About anything.”
I feel a rush of gratitude. “Okay,” I say. “Thanks. That means a lot.”
A lot more than it probably should, I think as I hang up my phone. I can talk to him more easily than I can talk with anyoneelse in my life right now, even my sister. Certainly more easily than I can talk with Zack. I have a clean slate with Brett. He seems to accept and like me just as I am.
He seems to feel about me, I realize, the way I always wanted to feel about myself.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Quinn
“YOU DON’T NEEDto undress for your ultrasound,” the nurse says, after she takes my blood pressure and temperature in the small examination room. Sarah is with me. “You’ll just need to lie back on the exam table and loosen your pants. Is your bladder full?”
“Yes,” I say. I’d been given instructions to arrive that way, and as usual, I’d overdone it. I feel in danger of peeing my pants.
“Good. That should help us see the baby.” The nurse, a petite woman with shoulder-length dark hair, smiles. “Normally Dr. Mercer would use the transvaginal ultrasound this early, but that machine is out of our office this week. This new abdominal one is really sensitive, though, so hopefully we’ll still get a relatively clear image. If not, you can come back next week.”
I nod. An assistant called this morning to tell me this and to see if I wanted to postpone my appointment, but I’m too eager to see the baby. I’d rather try and fail than wait another week.
“I’m so glad you could come with me,” I tell Sarah as soon as the nurse leaves the room.
“I’m thrilled you asked me. I was so excited when I had my first ultrasound. The excitement turned to shock when I learned I was having twins.”
“I can’t even imagine!” I say. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I have multiples. I’m worried about being able to take care of Lily and a baby all at the same time.”
“Do twins run in your family?” Sarah asks.
“Not that I know of.”
“You weren’t taking fertility drugs and you had inseminationinstead of IVF, so your chances are low. And as for taking care of Lily and a baby, you’ll be a wonderful mother.”
“When I decided to get pregnant, I thought I’d have Brooke by my side.” A wave of grief washes over me. Will I ever be able to think of Brooke without feeling sad about her death? “I was with her at the ultrasound where she found out she was having a girl.”
“I know you miss her,” Sarah says.
“I do.” Especially at moments like this. I blink back the tears gathering in my eyes.
“Have you thought about who you want as your labor coach?”
I’d been unable to go to classes with Brooke because I lived in Atlanta, but I’d read several books, and I’d taken a leave of absence so I could be with her for the delivery.
“I figure I’ll use the doula that Brooke used. She was terrific.”
“Don’t you want a friend or family member with you, too?”
“I don’t really have any family I’m close to,” I confess.
“What about your mother? I know she’s in Dubai, but surely she’ll want to come.”
I haven’t really discussed my mother with Sarah. “We’re not close. We talk every couple weeks or so, but...” I stop. I don’t think I can get into it without crying, and now is not the time.
Sarah’s eyes are warm and sympathetic. “If you decide you’d like me to be there, I’d be honored to help you.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Oh, Sarah—that’s so very, very kind!”
“Don’t answer now,” she said. “I don’t want you to feel pressured. Take your time and think about it, because everyone in the single parents group would love to do it—we’ve all talked about it.”
Before I can answer, Dr. Mercer comes in. She’s a middle-aged woman with a dark pixie haircut and friendly brown eyes. She asks for Sarah’s business card when I tell her that Sarah’s a psychologist. “I have some patients who could use your services,” Dr. Mercer says.
