“Are they? She flew all the way from Seattle to talk to him,” I say. “Whichever way it goes, I need to establish some serious boundaries.”
Annie hands me another scraped plate. “For his visits, or your feelings?”
“Both.” But I don’t believe I’ll do it even as I say it.
—
AFTER EVERYONE LEAVES,I give Lily her bath and get her ready for bed. Because Margaret can’t manage the stairs, we go back down and Lily climbs into Margaret’s bed. Margaret and I get on either side of her, and we both read her two stories.
Lily wraps her arms around Margaret’s neck. “I’m so glad you’re here, Grams. I’ve missed you!”
“I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart.” Margaret runs her age-spotted fingers through Lily’s soft hair, then plants a kiss on her forehead.
My eyes grow misty. I want to take a mental snapshot of this moment, to remember it and treasure it. My heart overflows with love for Lily and Margaret—for what they mean to each other, for what they mean to me.This is what matters, I tell myself,this right here.Instead of worrying about Zack and Jessica and things that are beyond my control, I need to focus on the blessings right in front of me. And I will, I resolve. I will.
“Margaret, I’m so glad you’re here,” I say, kissing the top of her head. I step back and put my hand on Lily’s shoulder. “Okay, Lily-kins, let’s go upstairs.”
“You got that from Daddy! That’s what he calls me,” she says as she hops off Margaret’s bed.
That’s true, I realize with a little pang.
“I believe I’m going to call it a day,” Margaret says.
“Do you need any help with anything?”
“No, Quinn, dear. Annie unpacked my suitcase and showed me where everything is. I can manage all by myself.”
I nod. “I’m leaving a night-light on in the hall and in your bathroom.”
“That’s perfect. I’ll be just fine.” She hugs me. “Thank you so much for all you’ve done. You’ve made me feel right at home.”
“Good, because thisisyour home.”
“I feel so blessed to have you and Lily as my family.”
“Why, thank you, Margaret.” My heart warms with delight. “I feel the same way. And I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a nicer compliment.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever given one,” she says.
I smile as I go upstairs. The feeling of warmth stays with me as I read yet another story to Lily, hear her prayers, and then go into the master bath to take a shower.
I have a lot to be grateful for, I think as I take off my shoes and dress. I have a loving family, just as I’ve always wanted: Margaret and Lily and the baby on the way. And whatever happens with Zack, well, he’s a blessing, too.
I turn on the shower to let the water warm, then take off my bra. And then, as I step out of my undies, I see something that stops my heart and changes everything: a bright red stain.
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
Jessica
I DON’T WANTto be here.The thought forms in my head as I walk up the porch of my husband’s new home, and for a moment, I seriously consider turning around, jumping in my rental car, and driving back to the hotel on Canal Street.
But if I do, I’ll have to live with the knowledge that I walked out on my marriage without ever sitting down and talking things through. For the rest of my life, I will know that I cut and ran when things got tough. I can spin it in ways that paint me as the wronged party, but deep down, I’ll always know the truth. And there’s another hard truth I’m here to face: Zack is one of the finest men I’ve ever known, and a part of me is still in love with him. I can’t move on unless I know there’s no hope for our marriage.
I raise my hand and knock before I lose my nerve. The sound reverberates among the evening hum of cicadas and tree frogs.
Zack opens his door. He’s wearing his inscrutable courtroom face.
“Hello.” I give him what I hope is a warm smile and step forward to embrace him.
